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Defining the Enemy

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Yesterday I had an "aha" moment. I won't call it a woohoo, but perhaps you could say that. At work the book I was second proofing is based on Buddhism or zen, but it had some truth even if it is not my leaning. It presented the idea of identifying your top ten hits - your obsessive thoughts - aka defining the enemy (my term). Interesting idea.

I identified my main enemy.

I know, I know. You can identify. We all can. We call have feelings. We all hurt. Physical, mental, social. all kinds of pain bombards our senses.

When I physically hurt, I curl up into a ball within myself.
I find it nearly impossible to move (so I don't get the exercise I need to actually combat the enemy)
It makes me seek comfort - soft clothes, smooth sheets, cozy cats, cozy blankets,.... soft foods, comfort foods. Hey, wait a minute! Is that really going to help me here? NO. I have to find something healthy. A hot mug of tea. Mashed bananas or strawberries in yogurt instead of ice cream, or puddings, or macaroni and cheese. Ahhh. Haaa. So physical pain is connected to my tummy muscle. and my hand muscle, that connects it to my mouth muscle. End of story. Or is it. I try to bury the pain by feeding me. Oh what a vicious cycle.

Breathe. That is not just a sigh of relief. It can help to de-tense the tight muscles. Go with the flow. Identify the pain. Don't just try to drown it in food.

This morning I did one minute bicep curls with 1 lb. weights. One minute. Go me. Sigh. Sometimes it really is a minute by minute thing. I will try some more 1 minute exercises later. 1 minute at a time.

In defining PAIN as my enemy, I recognize that it is not always the enemy, it is also the alert system, kind of like that annoying buzz on the tv that happens when they test the warning system, in case this was an emergency... I always think, if it was an emergency, I probably would not have tv coverage. Just saying. So as I try to identify my pain, what did I do this time to make it hurt like this? I get swallowed up in the PAIN. It defines me, and I do not like it. I want to push the swallowing membrane of the pain, and rip it open, and throw it away and move on to new and better things.

Sometimes that is not going to happen.
I have been swallowing my way to new and bigger weighs, every time some thing hurts. Today I am going to listen to what my body is saying, accept it, and give it other comforts - the warm blanket, the smooth clothing, the cup of hot tea. I will work at relaxing my muscles instead of clenching them in pain and breathe.
I will not let the enemy define me.

Blessings - Sunshine (despite the high pollen count from the trees - rain will come eventually and wash that away)
I slept good last night, though Peaches did wake me again this morning.
The pain has it lesser moments where it evaporates.

Now for that hot cup of coffee and a bit of lunch.

book I was proofing
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I can understand where you are coming from. I deal with pain in my back sometimes and pain in my arms during the night. My doctor told me that i have to try and work through the pain with my arms if i want to keep the muscles. On days when it bothers too much I use lighter weights or resistance bands or just use your own body weight in exercises like kick boxing.
    1787 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/27/2013 3:55:42 PM
    1787 days ago
  • SCOOTER4263
    My late husband had extreme back issues, to the point that no surgeon would touch him - the guy that I married who happily moved major appliances couldn't even hold our second baby for a while. His chronic pain issues were lessons for us both, for fifteen years easily.

    The two of you likely have nothing in common, but I can tell you what didn't work for him: pushing through the pain, and that was his natural inclination. All it ever resulted in was more inflammation and compression.

    What did work: acupuncture and meditation. Both were about as far from his comfort zone as you could get, but I remember him walking out of the acupuncturist's office one day and saying that for the first time in decades he was pain free (it didn't last, but for the time that it did - until we ran out of money, because acupuncture of course isn't covered by BC/BS - he was a different person.)

    One other thing that helped immeasurably was this book:

    Good for you, for doing the work of thinking about what's going on with you, analyzing what helps and what doesn't help, recognizing that pain is not only a result and a symptom, but a messenger.
    1787 days ago
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