Saturday, April 27, 2013
I knew that eventually I would have to face my demons and step on the 'EVIL SCALE'. I had been putting it off for so long that i was actually terrified of what it would say. i knew i had been gaining weight over the past year and it finally came time to do something when i realized i could barely zip up my previously "fat jeans". i was so uncomfortable when i wore them, that i knew i had to do something - immediately. i couldn't continue wearing sweatpants every day and growing bigger and bigger. i have been unhappy with myself and i needed to stop hiding from reality and face the truth: i've regained nearly all the weight i had worked so hard to lose.
i stepped onto the scale and was completely shocked by what it said... i had gained back over 50 lbs. that i had been so proud to have lost. how did this happen? what was i going to do about it? whatever it was, it needed to be started ASAP!!! no more hiding behind elastic waistbands and being in denial that 2 pieces of cheesecake "wouldn't be SO bad..."
of course the plan was already in place: sparkpeople to the rescue!!! i just had to make the effort to log in, update my information and take that first step on this journey.
my first day of cardio nearly killed me. i did a walk away the pounds 1 mile video.... 20 minutes seemed like a lifetime. i thought for sure there was no way i could finish... but then i remembered how far i had come on my previous journey and i knew i wanted that again. i refused to give up - so with sweat pouring down my face and my legs feeling like jell-o, i kept walking with Leslie Sansone... for the full 20 minutes.
the sense of accomplishment i felt when i was done was overwhelming. it was just a mile walk, but i didn't give up! i stuck with it and kept going... even though i felt like i might die. it was an eye-opening moment. i never again want to be in a place where i struggle to walk for a single mile! i want to be back to the place where i was walking 5 miles a day and enjoying it...
my spark journey has begun again...