Saturday, April 27, 2013
Less than happy news on the cancer front this weekend.
As I don't live with the family members going through this, I can only make assumptions (b/c they aren't sharing details yet), but I feel like something should have been done MONTHS ago when they saw the cancer growing. It is in an actual tumor that you can SEE now. So I'm angry at these so called doctors. I'm angry at the family members for not finding a BETTER cancer center that has a proven track record and is willing to try more things rather than give up right away. Again, all my assumptions as I don't know full details.
So I'm cycling around the grief, denial, anger stages right now. I feel like a goldfish in a bowl. Just circling and circling. :(
Hopefully in the next weeks some better news will finally start coming through. Hopefully they place they are choosing treatment at isn't as sh**ty as I make it out to be (although I don't know how that can be possible), but I'll hope.
I cannot accept right now some of the things I've been told. I won't accept it. I'm going to fight it!
But the depression, the intense sadness still hits me a few times a day. Just trying to work through it.
For now, I have to stop making assumptions. Things may not be as bad as I fear. And I have to hope and believe that they aren't!!!!!