On this leg of my journey I am making every effort to not only become a physically healthier person but to also become a mentally healthier person to avoid going back to where I have been. Part of this process is reviewing why I have gotten into this position and the lesson this week was about self-talk. I know! We have all heard this lecture before ... but finally, for me, in really sunk in!! There is a high likelihood I am very stubborn (or so I have heard). Ever notice how easy it is to encourage friends, family, co-workers and even strangers? Yet never yourself.
I have always had a touch of perfectionist in me. I like to be best at work, at school, at play and in most things I do. I also have a lot of average in me. This has led me to be pretty mean to myself for several years. I come in average and just beat me up over it. But honestly, how may people aren't average? There are billions of people in the world, but only hundreds of professional, highly overpaid, ball players. There are billions of people in the world, but only some of them are Pulitzer prize winners, astronauts, mathematicians, and so on. Apparently it takes a whole lot of us average people to really run the world!! Go figure ... it only took me forty plus years to grasp this concept! hee hee.
It really hit me and sunk in when a very good friend and co-worker sent me this link. She has seen and heard me really talk down about myself and she knew I needed to get this message. I can honestly say there are angels on this earth and I think she is one of them. She is not judgmental, and didn't send me the link to be rude or mean, but to help me get through to a better side of "being". As I read and listened to the story behind this experiment I cried. It really showed me, in a way I never saw before, how I really see myself and how its different from how others see me. If you haven't seen this before, you should check out realbeautysketches.dove.
. For me this was the icing on the cake.
Earlier in the same week I was speaking to my mother. Mother had a stroke and her memory and eyesight have gone to crap because of it. She can speak and do normal things, but has to think about what she is trying to say. When I told her about the changes I am trying to make and that I am on a very strict eating plan, she asked me very honestly, "Well what in the world are you doing that for!?" I couldn't believe my ears! This woman has known me all my life, has she not LOOKED at me!? So I said, "Mother, seriously? I am fat!". She said, "Well, I think you are beautiful."
I just let it drop so as not to confuse her further. But then later in the week when my wonderful friend Nancy dropped this link to me. I finally understood what mother, my children and my boyfriend had been trying to tell me. That the version of me I have seen all these years isn't really that accurate.
I hope for all of you that you are also taking steps beyond just diet and exercise to examine why you have eaten the way you have in the past and that you find monumental answers and work on those at the same time. We are all here, on a tough journey, but the support here is amazing and I am so appreciative!! Blessed be!