Success: I did 10 minutes of light strength training at home (squats, crunches, curls, etc) tonight and tracked all my calories for the day.
This evening, it took a lot of control to convince myself not to eat everything in sight. I'm really proud of myself for having a snack before deciding what else I needed to eat, and then increasing slowly until I could convince myself I had enough. It worked perfectly and I stopped eating right about the 1500 calorie (for the day - not just tonight, phew) mark.
I posted a week ago about my fears of being laid off: www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
. This afternoon at work, one of the higher ups admitted for the first time that layoffs are coming. I also learned that they weren't planning on giving people any notice and that "imminent action" was required by our division. So, while i was previously praying to have a job through August, now I'm praying to get at least one more pay check.
Those two words hardly capture the inner tempest stirred by my boss's words. I feel like I'm playing Russian Roulette.
As soon as the reality of this hit me, I realized just how slow I have been to take it seriously. My mind was swirling with all the things I should have done months ago. Would all my efforts to protect myself be too little too late? Is there a chance I wont find myself on the chopping block? Could I be among the few who management decides to keep? I don't like my odds.
So this weekend, I will try to send out applications for anything remotely plausible, look for a part-time job I might be able to start immediately, and complete my LinkedIn profile. I'll also be cleaning like a fiend, trying to get my house in order - for one, it will help my mental state, and for another, it will help make sure I can vacate as quickly as possible, if that's what it comes down to.
And not one more dollar can go to something unnecessary. No more $1.95 sodas from the cafe in my building. Beyond that, I need to for recipes to use up every last thing in my pantry. All those lentils aren't going to do me any good if I no longer have a stove to cook 'em on, and now at least I can buy an onion and mix them with spices I have to make them tasty.
All of these things take time, so basically my life right now only has room for the following activities: showing up to the office, exercising, food prep, and doing what I can to find a job, save money, or make money.
I keep telling myself that this could be a dramatic opportunity (necessity) to completely redefine my life. I just need to survive....and not use any of this as an excuse to lose focus on my exercise and nutrition goals.