Tell me if you think this is right I have to vent

Friday, April 26, 2013

This weekend is my sons confirmation, how we're paying for a little party is by buying a can bank that I know I couldn't get into and throwing quarters and dollar bills in it for months....
Don't really have a large family (especially with me not inviting any of my side) so we knew we'd have enough for the amount of people we invited.
I was sure to just invite couples instead of putting on the invitation Mr and Mrs and family (because everyone has adult kids with their own families and don't live at home) so my husbands godfather told us last week it would just be him coming not his wife cause she wasn't feeling good okay fine, today he calls up and says that his wife will be able to attend and so will his daughter (who doesn't even live with them anymore) her baby daddy and the baby and his son)!
Now that's 4 extra adults and a baby and you might think okay well .... but these people are HEAVY EATERS!!!!! I mean we through a party a few years ago for my mother in law and they ate EVERYTHING and I'm not even exaggerating!
I just invited the godfather and wife, not their kids and boyfriends and son, don't you think that's a little b@llsy? I mean I'll have to buy extra now because I know these people can eat anyone under a table...
My son is kind of upset because it's his day and now a baby is coming, which I can see his point it will be all about the baby... I mean I had his daughters address and I didn't invite her and I made sure not to put and family..
What do you think? This is the same family we had trouble with when we got married, because we didn't have kids at the wedding because we were paying for it and couldn't afford a lot and to be honest I don't like kids really at a wedding. I had just the kids in the wedding party go and this family made a big stink (well he had his mother do it but she's passed now god rest her soul) they even said well I'll pay for my grand kids plates, but that wasn't the point it was our decision. I believe when you get married it's your decision what you want and I think it's the Bride and Grooms day, not the kids...
I'm just a little upset that he said it would be just him and now the whole clan is coming....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I think it's entirely fine to call the person you invited and explain that since this is a CONFIRMATION, babies and small children are not welcome. The whole point of confirmation is that the young person is entering adult life. This is your son's first adult event, and he has a right to want only adults to be there. (So do you!) Just say, "I'm sorry, but the baby wasn't invited for a reason. Johnny and I have talked about it, and we agree that both of us really want this to be an adult event." Hopefully the penny will drop that the other adults weren't invited, either.

    Really, if you tell him not to bring the baby, what's the worst that can happen? He'll get mad and not show up for your next party? Would that be upsetting, or would it be a secret relief?

    1761 days ago
    I would just roll with it, there maybe people who end up not coming, and it would be nice to still have the nummbers for your son, I don't think the focus will be on the baby I think it will be on your son, hope this helps.
    1761 days ago
  • SOFT_VAL67
    im unsure what to tell you how to proceed with this, but if you are adament about no baby at the party
    then maybe instead of calling up the godfather, you should call up the mother with the baby and ask if its possible to get a sitter that day.
    explain that its your sons day and that no one else is bringing babies.
    if this is a problem for her, more than likely she will say she just wont come
    it might cause some tension but at least the issue will be resolved.
    1761 days ago
    What I think and what I would do are two diff stories... I agree with below
    in one way roll with the punches but then also they are taking advantage cos they know they can. So yea call up the daugther not the one you invited and say would you be able to bring a hot dish, or dessert whatever YOU want and then say and there will be no children at this, I hadn't invited you cos figured you may not want to get a sitter?

    I dont know but agree they shouldn't walk over you, but then you get so worked up that it isn't a good day then that is no good either.

    Granted easy to say but not to do. I can deal with the dad situation they way I said I would, but with not as close and friends I have a harder time.

    1761 days ago
    Just let them know that you have already figured out numbers and cannot take the extra people----but I am betting that others that said were coming will not be there---that is what happened at my son's wedding---and they had had to pay for the number who said they would be at the reception. If no other "children" are invited, you could let them know that it is an adult event only---but if you did not pipe up right away, this is going to be an issue and cause problems.
    1761 days ago
    Some people can be pushy like that. They enjoy taking advantage of a person's generosity. In this case, they figure that since you're throwing your son a "lavish" confirmation party, they'd invite themselves too.

    What would I say ? Personally, if extra people invited themselves, I would ENCOURAGE those people to bring extra food. See whenever, I'm invited to a person's house, even if they tell me not to bring something, I always bring something.

    So, since you are on a budget and these folks felt it was necessary to invite extra people, you should tell them to bring some food. Don't be shy about this. They weren't shy about inviting themselves. And if they don't want to bring food, I hope that your son is getting a little something from them as a gift.

    When you talk to them about bringing the food, let them know it would be oh so thoughtful of them to bring a gift for your son.

    1761 days ago
    As annoying as they might be, I think you need to find a way to just "roll" with this family instead of letting them drive you crazy. You can't really change other people, you can only control your own reactions, and who knows, they might turn out to "be there" for you someday... just do your best!

    1761 days ago
    I would sit down and have a talk with them. Tell them that it's an intimate gathering and you only want just a few chosen people there.
    1761 days ago
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