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    RACEFORLIFE   2,068
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Wake Up And Smell The Coffee...


Friday, April 26, 2013

Hello.

I've been away a while. Ive had some things that needed my attention. My mental well-being being one of them. I've been at a low point. In a vicious circle of over-eating and self loathing. I could even see why some people choose to binge and purge - although I couldn't bring myself to do it.

It was going to my Renal docs 2 weeks ago that finally started to bring me round. I was told that I WILL need a transplant in the next 5 years. Bluntly. No beating around the bush. It made me want to cry. It made me feel sick. It made me want to hide from the world.

Over the past two weeks i have not lost any weight that I am aware of. I havent weighed myself either because my mental state couldn't take it. But I have been calorie counting. Getting into the habit of watching what I eat. I havent cut down, or eaten particularly healthy, but i have accounted for EVERY SINGLE MORSEL that passed my lips. Then today, I limited myself. (I am going to phone the hospital after my trip to spain and go back to the dietician.) I took the advice given to me almost 2 years ago and cut back to 1200 cals. Ive found it easy. Ive planned my meals for the day. Ive checked calories on everything I eat. Ive not had one thing chocolate today - and I don't want any.

My head feels level for the 1st time in months - although it didnt feel out of order I can see now that it was.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Dxx
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MPETERSON2311 4/29/2013 3:40PM

    your tracking, good or bad, is a step in the right direction. You can do this, we all believe in you. Prayers and good thoughts are being sent your way.

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MARINEMAMA 4/27/2013 7:37PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MAGGIEVAN 4/27/2013 2:23AM

    When your mind is on the right spot, you will put the steps in place to achieve it. You can do it!

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MOM_OF_1 4/26/2013 10:15PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SNAGGS 4/26/2013 5:52PM

  Thank-you for sharing , l enjoyed reading your blog , lm going to add you to my friend list to so l can drop by your psge from time to time to see how your trsvelling and keep you in my prayers , keep up the great work

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RACEFORLIFE 4/26/2013 5:43PM

    I wish there was a like button under these comments. Thank you all so much :)

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AJB121299 4/26/2013 5:40PM

    Nice

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MARCIEMCGOWAN 4/26/2013 5:36PM

    I am so sorry for your bad news. I hope your trip to Spain is fun and when you come home you work on your health.
I will pray for you.

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HAPPYMENOW58 4/26/2013 5:34PM

    Hang in there..Sounds like you are back on track! It is hard to have health troubles...Keep sparking..and staying on your program...It's giving you that CONTROL feeling when other conditions may make you feel out of control....My thoughts are with you.... emoticon

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