It has been nearly a year and a half since my mom passed away, so the focus has been on my dad and how he is doing being alone after 60 years of being with the same person. Last year was his year to adjust develop new routines, mourn, etc. When I was there in December of last year, he seems pretty resolute that in 2013 he would get serious about looking into one of the local retirement communities (he lives just south of Tucson, so there are no shortages of them!).
Well, here we are nearly to May, and not a peep on the subject. Normally I would not be overly concerned, but two recent conversations have us concerned:
- last Saturday, my brother talked to him (normal Saturday call), and in the midst of that call asked about plans for my youngest daughter to go visit him. My dad drew a blank at first, then told my brother he thought it was my older daughter coming to see him, but was not sure when.
- Wednesday evening, I called him (normal Wednesday evening call). Usual pleasantries. (Note: I was unaware about the Saturday call.) Then I asked him about his "company" coming this Saturday. Initially, he drew a blank! Then, like the Saturday call with my brother, he thought it was my older daughter coming, but he could not even remember her name!
My youngest daughter had not planned to rent a car while she was there, as she had a big enough bill to deal with on the hotel, so we decided we'd pick up the hotel bill while she was there and allow her to get a rental car (she is 23, so she gets hit with the "under 25 rental car premium!). Since going to the airport is not part of my dad's routine, we are concerned he might forget to even go, or if he did do that, who he was even picking up!).
But now my brother and I are much more concerned. We're going to let my daughter do some recon work for us while she is there to determine what the next steps should be, but I know in my mind we need to start encouraging him a lot more on the retirement community. Hopefully this does come to "forcing" him to go, but clearly there are some mental concerns that we need to address soon.
Love going to Tucson, but the next visit may not be too pleasant...