When you start training for something big, you spend alot of time soul searching and thinking. As race day inches closer, my thoughts are more and more consumed by what I have to do and even more importantly, why. This is so much bigger than a mid-lifer trying to grab the brass ring. Yes, there is a real rush in doing something epic, but it is the deep seated, resounding purpose that really anchors someone to their mission.
I believe that being firmly grounded in why you are doing what you are doing is key to making it in the end. 5 years ago, I had no intention of going this direction. 5 years ago, I couldn't tie both of my shoes without taking a break because in bending over, I was being crushed and couldn't breathe. 5 years ago, I couldn't climb more than a flight or so of stairs without wheezing. My childhood memories of any sort of physical activity are filled with embarrassment. From the public humiliation of gym class to feeling shame because the entire scout troop had to stop the hike and wait while I breathed through a paper bag because I couldn't handle the stress of a hike, there is nothing in my past that would indicate that I would ever embark on the journey I am on now.
So here I am, 118 lbs lighter, and a little over 3 months away from the starting gun of a 70.3 mile triathlon.
Because I need to.
Because my entire journey to date has been all about breaking barriers, whether it be in breaking through my self defeating expectations in weight loss or in pushing my obesity abused body past another limit, it has been all about proving that nothing is impossible. That being morbidly obese is not a death sentence. Actually, morbid obesity kills you every day. I know, I've lived it. Not only was I committing suicide with a fork, but the walls of possibility closed around me until there was nothing left.
When you have no goals or expectations, you don't have to suffer disappointment.
My entire world was defined by what I couldn't do. From booths I couldn't fit into without feeling crushed to shopping in an expensive clothing store because they were the only ones in the area that had 4x shirts, can't was a pervasive reality. Paying over $50.00 a shirt was not exactly fun either, no wonder my wardrobe was small.
It is my mission to prove that you can get your life back, that you don't have to accept where you are at as inevitable, like your fate is cast in stone. It isn't. Walking led to running, which led to cycling, which led to swimming, which led to pursuing a dream of one day finishing something epic. To not just lose the weight and be satisfied with looking good, but to push my limits, to explore what was previously impossible, to know what it means to do something that might inspire another big guy like me and make him think " if he can do that.......hmmmmm I wonder, maybe I CAN TOO"
My goal is to prove that it is never too late and you do not have to accept second best for your life.
What about you?
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