Thursday, April 25, 2013
My meeting with my advisor this morning was a bit discouraging. It was more like our meetings used to be, with me being too stupid to contribute anything and him being kind of vague (or so it seems to me anyway). At the end he said "just keep trying things"...
So, this makes me feel somewhat disappointed in how things are going and myself most of all, but I'm still motivated to try my best. I have a lot of negative thoughts going through my head though. The "I'm never going to make it", "I'm not smart enough to do this" and "I'm totally lost and have no idea what I'm doing" voices are particularly strong and loud, and the worst part is that I honestly - really and truly - believe them. I try to counter them and "fake it" but I consider those thoughts are realistic, not pessimistic. Sigh!
On a happier note, it turned out to be a beautiful day here today when rain was forecast, and tomorrow evening I am taking off with a friend for a short one-night camping trip to the desert.