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The gym was awful

Thursday, April 25, 2013

As you know I'm having a competition with my husband( read previous blog if you would like to know more) and yesterday was our first day back to the gym. I was prepared and really excited to start again. That all changed five minutes in on the elliptical... actually it was more like three minutes in,you get the idea. My mind said you can rock this out and do 20 minutes, that's not that long, and it would be over before you knew it. My body said that it was way too much. My husband was on the machine next to me and I could see that at his 20 minutes my machine only said thirteen. I had to stop so many times, I was slow, my arms were shaking and my back was aching. My head throbbed as I got off the machine, I really just wanted to cry.

How could I be that out of shape. I walk around all the time and sure my back hurts now and again, but I've gone shopping longer than than 20 minutes. Maybe it was because all my limbs were going at the same time? It takes a lot of energy to move this weight around, more than I knew. After my 13 minute workout I could hardly breath. At that moment I felt like giving up. There was no way I was going to make it or win the competition, I felt like a failure. I told myself I wasn't coming back.

I came home and ate a healthy vegan meal felt full and content. Still not happy but felt like I made some progress. Late last night I did break and ate food that wasn't good for me. I wasn't hungry just emotional and wanted to eat the feelings away. I felt bad after I did it because I felt like I was self sabotaging myself and I was. How could I do that after I made some changes for the best? I think I still play mind games with myself, wanting to succeed but I get in my own way.

This morning, I was a little depressed because of my actions last night. I stayed in bed longer than usual , trying to think of ways to get out of going to the gym again. After realizing that there was no real reason for not trying again, I got up,put on my gym clothes( even though I wont be going till later this afternoon), almost finished 4 glasses of water and ate my overnight oats. It will take time to appreciate the little changes and progress but I'm trying. This afternoon, I will go back and try the elliptical again. I will work hard every minute I'm on there. All I can do is my best. Today, I'm proud of myself for trying again.

Here's to a beautiful day leading to a brighter and healthier future!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks everyone for the support and the advice. It really helps :)
    1663 days ago
  • HEXE63
    You started and you are going back those are the things you have to focus on don't beat yourself up over the things you think you did wrong. You are doing it you are moving emoticon emoticon and it will get easier with time.
    1667 days ago
  • KEELIE21
    I'm proud of you too!! getting to the gym when feeling like that is brutal I know.
    I have to tell myself all the time (especially while doing yoga, some positions feel terrible to me) that this is what my body can do NOW, if I keep it up my body will br able to do more. That thought calms me.
    1668 days ago
    Thats how I felt when I first started back exercising on Monday. I was amazed at how out of shape I was but its now Thursday and the same exact exercise has become a little more bearable not easy lol its still kicking my butt but i dont feel like im dying after 10 minutes maybe now after 12... anyway my point is that your body will def adjust just hang in there I believe in you cuz its clear you def believe in yourself GOOD LUCK I hope u beat your husband and win the competition
    1668 days ago
    Wow, I just saw your comment. If your elliptical was on 11 resistance, it's no wonder it was so hard. When I use the elliptical, I think the highest resistance I ever had it on was 10 (out of 20). Since I've just recently gotten back to the gym I lowered it to 7. As I lose weight and my body get stronger, I'll increase it gradually, but I still likely won't go higher than 10. My goal is to get 30-60 minutes of cardio in and stay near my target heart rate. I can't do that if the resistance is so high I can barely move my legs emoticon
    1668 days ago
    Don't feel bad about the elliptical. They definitely take some getting used to especially if you primarily exercise by walking and running. I know for me, when I first started on the elliptical I didn't do the upper body motion at all, I hated it, it didn't feel natural. Now, I absolutely love it. Also, be very aware of the elliptical resistance setting, that will make a big difference. That might be why your workout was so difficult.

    Great job on making the decision on going back to the gym, you'll be elliptical training like a pro in no time emoticon
    1669 days ago
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