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Feeling Extra Chipper Today

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Thursday, April 25, 2013

Feeling Extra Chipper Today. It is just a great day to be alive!!

It is just an amazing feeling to know that you are doing everything you can to improve your health, to improve your quality of life, to maybe extend your life.

Two years ago, I was ready to throw in the towel. I felt old. I felt used up. I quit going out with friends. Quit going out much even with DH. Quit going to his company functions. Quit going to most family functions. If you look back through all the photos, I was nowhere to be found - my life was already non-existent, and that was okay with me.

I had just accepted that I was on the downhill side of life. That I would suffer from aches and pains and there was nothing I could do about it. I was hurting physically, I was hurting mentally, I was accepting this as my old age, and I was just ready for it to be over with.

So what changed? Looking back, I am not really sure, but I think it might have something to do with a man (who loves & adores me) & a Harley. As I mentioned earlier this week, when DH got his Harley, I had hoped it was just some sort of "Mid-life I have Arrived" crisis. However I quickly realized that he was going to ride it, with or without me.

Now we are not talking some big fancy touring bike with all the bells and whistles - like extra wide cushy seats, something fit for the Queen of Sheeba. No, We are talking a Sportster. A nice bike, but not a bicycle built for two. Certainly not the size of a 230lb man AND a 270lb woman. emoticon

So I knew that I had to ride, or stay home. Staying home would have been fine with me, but I knew he really wanted me with him. And I knew that I did not want to be the old fat chick on the back of the bike. One or the other, I could handle. But not both. And since my fountain of youth was drank dry by the unicorns, that only left trying to lose some weight. emoticon

Going to the doctor for help was pointless. I had done it countless times before, but I went once more. It was not my regular doctor, and I was pointed in the direction of bariatric surgery. Given my BMI - (translation - as wide as I was tall) I was a candidate. However my insurance would not pay for it. So I knew that if it was going to happen, I would have to make it happen. It was all up to me. If it is to be, it's up to me..... or some non-sense like that. I really didnt believe yet, but I just knew that somehow, if I was going to lose weight, I would have to figure out how to do it on my own. This last Doctors visit, none of my numbers looked good. I was on the verge of being medicated out my @$$. I really was not ready to give up on living, and I certainly did not want my remaining years to be a burden on my family. So it was time to try to dig down deep and find some bit of strength, some kind of spark.



So I guess that got the ball rolling. But I was rolling uphill. It was a slow go. My head (heart) wasnt really in it yet, I am not sure why not. DH was still riding, but he was riding to work, so about an hour one way, so that 2 hours a day pretty much got it out of his system. Whew, what a relief!! Thank goodness, I could still keep my fat-self in my house.

I can remember laying in bed at night, thinking I might not wake up. I would die of a heart attack in my sleep. Yes it bothered me, but not enough to take action. Then one day for some reason, I just happened to hear a commercial for Dr. Oz. So I watched the show, and started implementing little changes. By the time fall rolled around, I had lost maybe 20lbs. Then I heard about Dr. Oz's Transformation Nation, and my sister and I accepted the challenge.

That same evening, my sister sent me a link to this tracking place, called Sparkpeople. I signed up, but it looked complicated and I was already tracking on my own, so I didnt need it. I told her I was tracking in excel, so why did she even send it to me? Geesh. So I forgot about it.

Then January rolled around. I was making better choices, but nothing much was happening on the scale. I dont know what made me come back to Sparkpeople, but I did. And it made all the difference for me. I began tracking faithfully, and have hardly missed a day since.

Weight loss has definitely not been linear. I have had my starts and stops. But one thing, I have pretty much maintained even with a stop. I am just now coming out of a stop again. It took me a while to even realize it was a stop. I would have a slight gain, followed by a loss just enough to make me think I was gaining ground. I was eating right and all, so I just knew it was a matter of time. Afterall, I felt fantastic!!!

Well once I realized I was pretty much stopped, dead stop, it has taken me a bit to get my groove back on. Now, I have my groove on again! I am hoping I have the formula to take me the rest of the way to my goal. emoticon

And what perfect timing. Two years ago today, when I turned 46, I felt 86. I knew I had one foot in the grave. I knew my genetic dice were loaded against me. Now here I am today, turning 48, and I feel... well I dont feel 48 even!! Is 48 the new 28??!! Okay, how about 38?! It doenst matter, it is just a number, but I am so glad to have one more. One more year, one more day - I will take it all!

Regardless of the number, I have learned that I do NOT have to accept the diseases of my parents - like heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, cancer - that took their lives way too soon. I have the power to reverse many things just by making healthy food choices. Now that is power. I can heal, I can reverse, I can at least postpone many of the ailments that 2 years ago I would just lay in bed and say, "Here I am, come get me." Now I am getting out, enjoying life, enjoying my family, riding my horse again, loving every minute I spend with DH both on and off the New harley, and now I am saying, "You will have to catch me first!"
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUPERSYLPH 8/5/2013 12:29PM

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EFFRAYECHILDE 5/18/2013 4:08PM

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CFMOSS 5/17/2013 6:58AM

    Just catching up on emails - good going. onward my sparkfriend.

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GOOSIEMOON 5/2/2013 9:11PM

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GRAMPIAN 5/2/2013 5:27AM

  Well done! emoticon

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JOANNEHOLL1 5/1/2013 4:36PM

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WOW! A great uplifting Blog.

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FLASUN 5/1/2013 6:59AM

    WOW, Now I see why you received the "Popular Blog" Award!!! emoticon
emoticon Blog!!!! So PROUD of your accomplishments!!! emoticon

You have motivated me to stick with it and like my motto always is, "NEVER GIVE UP".

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Janice

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DAYSPRING-STAR 5/1/2013 5:02AM

    What a wonderful chronicle of your journey! I nodded so many times reading along that I would have looked like a bobble head if someone were watching me. But OMGosh, I could relate to many parts! Well except the Harley, so don't get any ideas DH if you are spying on my posts!!! Your last paragraph made me SOL: smile out loud if there is such a thing! Thank you for sharing, caring, and Sparking. Kudos, hugs, and high fives to you, my friend!

One last thought, another SparkFriend of mine commented on one of my recent blogs that the reason we are put on Earth is to heal. You, my dear, have healed yourself thereby being an instrument of healing in others. Again, thank you!

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PANFRIEDTROUT 5/1/2013 1:36AM

    great blog .... thanks for sharing what you thought, how you felt and what you did to start turning things around!

Marie


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UNIQUEYGIRL 4/30/2013 9:12PM

    Thank you so much for this. I feel like I am not succeeding and I have had a bumpy go of it this last few weeks. However, you mentioned that you have been there too and that you went up and down but still manage to maintain. I thought about that and I am maintaining. Yes, I am up this week, but I am down over 25 pounds. thank you....I needed this...

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BROWNCOFIDDLER 4/30/2013 8:59PM

    Love your story. It's really neat. Everybody loves a happy ending. You won a very sweet victory and I'm real glad you shared it with all of SP!!!!! Way to go my friend!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PATTISTAMPS 4/30/2013 2:04PM

    That is so amazing! You are an inspiration to me and to everyone else who reads this. Whatever "sparked" you to change gave your family a gift they can never repay! And it gave you not just more years, but BETTER years. I am truly moved by your story.

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HFAYE81 4/30/2013 12:47PM

    Awesome!!! And now you're an inspiration! emoticon

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MISSLISA1973 4/30/2013 9:25AM

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JSEATTLE 4/28/2013 7:23PM

  Wow your blog post really gave me the inspiration to tackle my day! Thank you so much!

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JUMPINJULIE 4/28/2013 5:40PM

    Awesome and inspiring blog. Thank you for sharing. You are amazing.

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MARYJEANSL 4/28/2013 1:58PM

  Reading your blog is just so encouraging and uplifting. Congratulations on all your success!

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BAPKTM 4/28/2013 10:27AM

    emoticon What a great blog post!! Congratulation!!! Keep going!! You are doing GREAT!!!


Happy late birthday!!!!!

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LESLIE_2B_LESS 4/28/2013 12:32AM

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SASSYTHING52 4/28/2013 12:27AM

    awesome thanks

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ILIKETOZUMBA 4/28/2013 12:04AM

    Yaaaaaay for you!! Happy birthday, and congrats on all the wonderful healthy changes you've made! I'm so happy for you. :)


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MARILYNROBERT 4/27/2013 7:52PM

    emoticon Thank you for sharing this with us. emoticon emoticon

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KARENE10 4/27/2013 7:37PM

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ALIDOSHA 4/27/2013 4:33PM

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CORNERKICK 4/27/2013 3:36PM

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FIRECOM 4/27/2013 1:29PM

    Motivation comes in many shapes and sometimes at the weirdest times. Glad to see your determination.

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FYRAM45 4/27/2013 11:56AM

    emoticon I read this during my stop moments, thank you for sharing! Time to get my go!

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TPETRIE 4/27/2013 8:10AM

  Nice Blog! emoticon

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GOANNA2 4/27/2013 5:44AM

    Thank you for sharing. I really enjoyed your blog.
You are doing great.
Happy Belated Birthday. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ARCHIMEDESII 4/27/2013 5:40AM

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Fantastic blog ! Thank you for sharing.

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CYDNEYLEECH 4/27/2013 4:48AM

    Thanks for sharing your story. I have some of the same feelings. My husband has his Harleys and expects me to ride on the back. I just feel very large and conspicuous on the back. He says I look great (HA, HA). Oh well!!! Thankfully we have others here on Sparkpeople who know how we feel. As for losing weight. I have been trying since I was 152 lbs, and know I am 189 lbs. I did quit smoking during that time; but I sure do feel like throwing in the towel, and I am trying to hang there till it works. I just know it has to.

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BARBARAWEBSTER 4/27/2013 3:46AM

    That's a wonderful story. Thank You! Now I don't feel as bad as I did at being right back where I started 3 yrs ago. I blame my heart attack, but really it's all the sugar, and not TRACKING at the heart of the matter. YOU ROCK!!!!!!!! Big Hugs, B emoticon

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BANNERMAN 4/27/2013 2:03AM

  Thanks for sharing.

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BLUEJEAN99 4/27/2013 1:39AM

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KHALIA2 4/27/2013 12:29AM

  Great Blog! emoticon

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MISSBOOBOOKITTY 4/26/2013 11:17PM

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GOING-STRONG 4/26/2013 11:13PM

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DIBRN5 4/26/2013 11:01PM

    Happy Birthday!! This really inspired me. My birthday is tom. 4/27. I have been feeling down about my age, shape and myrelationship. I need to get back on track and feel lucky to have another day. Thank you. Have a blessed birthday.

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JAMER123 4/26/2013 9:55PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Your story sounds a little like mine. The light bulb was suddenly turned on in my head!!

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TREYONE 4/26/2013 9:54PM

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DIANNEMT 4/26/2013 8:57PM

    Many congrats!! And wear a helmet!!

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MOMFAN 4/26/2013 7:04PM

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BRENDA_G50 4/26/2013 7:00PM

    Happy belated Birthday!!! emoticon

I can relate to what you said about "feeling like throwing in the towel" when it comes to weight loss. Even though I thought I was doing everything the way it should be done, the scales would not cooperate with me. I got discouraged and told myself "Why bother" forgetting that "I'm worth the effort". There are still times when I get discouraged, but, I refuse to give up!

emoticon Back to SP

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CLPURNELL 4/26/2013 6:46PM

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ROBB1N 4/26/2013 6:43PM

    Happy Birthday! You're quite an inspiration.

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MJ7DM33 4/26/2013 6:27PM

  WTG! Thx for sharing!

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JERICHO1991 4/26/2013 6:17PM

    Stay on the right path. Great attitude!

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PATRICIAANN46 4/26/2013 5:54PM

  Good for YOU!!! emoticon

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LAINYC 4/26/2013 5:20PM

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