10,000-14,999 SparkPoints 14,053

You can fight the rules but you probably won't make progress

Thursday, April 25, 2013

I have been slowly reading The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I only read before bedtime and the pages are so dense that the process has been slow. Good thing I bought the book ($1.99 at Goodwill) instead of being on a library time restraint, because I have had the book a week and I am only in Chapter 2. I must admit that sometimes I feel I am not smart enough for this book. That will happen when you have been reading dumbed down easy readers without too many BIG words.

Last night a statement popped out at me about making and keeping promises to yourself. I lie to myself all the time, constantly, on a continual basis. Do you? I make plans and promises to myself and then two minutes later I am all "Yea, um... no". A constant cycle of planning and failing, planning and failing. Most of the time we do not even give the plan a chance before we throw in the towel. You can have all the ingredients for a magnificent recipe. You prepare them and get them all put together just so, following all the instructions. Carefully you place your creation in the oven, close the door, and then decide "You know, I don't really have time for all this, we'll just cook this for 25 minutes instead of 90". Shortcuts. Doesn't matter how well you plan and prepare, if you don't follow all the way through and try to cut a corner, FAIL!

So my last blog I proclaimed how I was done hating myself for failing. I do it. I am the one that stops. I am the one that has a month of success and then for whatever reason decides to cease making progress. I have tried every method I can to NOT follow the rules. I don't want to track, so I tried over exercising so the calories in didn't count. I also did the 17 day diet so I didn't have to track (which was a very successful one month). I tried Eat to Live a year ago when I didn't want to track (that sent me into a 20 pound gain in 1 month that sent me into complete diet despair). I did all these things because I didn't want to follow the rules. Most of us don't. Why do you think we want the easy fix? Why is it that we can see some crazy diet plan and think "OH I can restrict my calories to 500 a day and put drops under my tongue and find success. That's the ticket!" We can rationalize crazy, but we aren't willing to just follow the rules of healthy eating most of the time and movement.

I have been doing a lot of soul searching. Not just about diet, but about health. Our health is about more than just our weight. My mental health has taken a beating. I am not being effective. I am not being progressive. I have stagnated in all areas of my life. My drive has stalled and my get up and go... well the battery is dead. I lost my spark. I thrive on success, not just in material success, but in the smiles on my family's faces, in being a good friend, in being a good person, in feeling like the things I do are helping and have a purpose. I have all the opportunities in the whole world and yet I am not taking advantage of any of them because I have a horrible case of the "dontwannas" but the sad part is it isn't even that. It isn't even about not wanting to, because I so do want to, I feel like I just can't and I don't know why I feel that way, because I SO CAN. Am I just lazy?

I decided if I am going to succeed I need something to base my success. I have an eBay business that I have been neglecting even though I want very badly to run my business full time. I realized yesterday I have no goals in place. I haven't even established a general goal standard. Saying "I just want to make money" isn't going to work any better than saying "I just want to lose weight" or "I just want to be more organized" or "I just want to make more progress". Well ok, those are all fine statements but how are you going to get there, how do you measure your success, where are the "atagirls"? When I really look deep inside I need rewards, I need little areas of success that show me I am making progress.

Although the war has ended, the fight has not. That was the part I forgot about, the fight. Life is not going to give me rainbows and unicorns; I have to make my own. I have decided that I need to track my food. That is just a rule I am going to have to follow, because being a healthy weight is important to me. Being a good role model for my children and my family and the 65% of this nation that is obese, that is important to me. Excuses are just lies we make to ourselves. Excuses are the reasons we give to break our promises. I am not being my own friend; I am a fairweather friend to myself and that has to end.

I have been talking for a long time about making my mountain. Jason Castro has a song that inspires me and the chorus is...
This is only a mountain
You don't have to find your way around it
Tell it to move, it'll move
Tell it to fall, it'll fall

My weight struggle has been my mountain. I have gone around and around the base of this mountain so many times, its time to go up it.

I am not setting a "no mistakes" standard. I will have days when I just don't make it. But the point is to set a standard and try to reach that standard on most days. If I am going to create a new habit, I have to keep working at it on a daily basis. Old habits die hard, but it is time to create some new ones.

I made my mountain. It is not perfect, but that is not the standard. Progress is the standard.

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Let's be accountability partner's. I struggle just let you in so many places. WE GOT THIS!! emoticon emoticon Don't give up and quit on me!! emoticon
    1792 days ago
    Old habits DO die hard. Ugh. know can totally do this. It's only a mountain.

    And listen, BG: You are successful. Don't ever believe the lie that you aren't succeeding, just because you don't always FEEL like you're succeeding. Even if it's only one single solitary are making a difference. I can say that with confidence because I AM THAT PERSON. You have always been (and continue to be) a source of inspiration and hope and reality-check for me. Please don't stop.

    Love you, girl!
    1792 days ago
  • SCOOTER4263
    As you proved to yourself one month, losing weight by rigid adherence to a plan can be very successful. You can organize your house that way as well, and make a lot of money by going back to school and taking courses in some high-demand, high-salary area whether you are interested in that career or not. The problem is that when you go that route, you don't do the interior redesign that needs to happen, and either the results are temporary or they are likely to be unsatisfactory.

    I don't guarantee that this woman is necessarily sane, but she makes some very good points nonetheless:
    Plus it's free. You might also check the Goodwill (or the library, although you'll want your own copy) for Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way. It's not for artists only; it's for anyone trying to pick their way through their own brain maze.

    Wishing you great success. emoticon

    1793 days ago
    I am shocked that the eat to live plan would ADD 20 pounds to your body. He does have a part in there about addictive eating but I can't imagine that the food on that did to you. There must be something else going on. Maybe not enough greens and too much fruit?

    Tracking is a bummer sometimes we are addicted to sabotaging our efforts. I have been tyring to do ETL for a long time learned a lot about healthy eating and am healthier than I have been but still not losing pounds. If I could tell you what I am sabotaging myself with I would but I think its more an overwork give up start over thing.

    Its not all or nothing I have to love the new me into being. We all have the sabatour archetype what we need to realize is what payoff we are getting by doing that sabotage and then release the need for non-success.

    Refusing to track is one way we get mental amnesia but I will say this what If you TRACKED and WORKED And still didn't lose what then??
    1793 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.