Just Ruminating 2
Thursday, April 25, 2013
As the Summer rolls on and as the sweltering heat keeps escalating to new heights each day,the somnolent afternoons are more condusive to Siestas---not work!!For me just lying back on our bed and gazing out of the wide window into the depths of the hot Blue Sky-----makes me really wonder about the direction in which actually my life is going.It's funny but dates have begun to merge into one another--I'm just drifting through the various months indifferently--there is no change and no excitement--just the same boring similarity in the manner in which I'm passing the days!!
Unbidden my mind keeps harking back to a much healthier Past--the days when my day fell short by quite a few hours to finish my chores in!!Now thanks to the Weather the chores are done early--because the Heat just drains one out completely.I never had a minute to myself--the entire day was taken up with activities revolving around Sudhir--he was the very centre of my Universe!!Just t6he other night I came home from our daily "Darbar" by 8.45 p.m.---something that I wouldn't even have dreamt of when he was there!!We just didn't realise how fast the Clock was ticking--all of us were completely involved in some inane topic that we were discussing with such passion!!Not just that,even the Yoga Classes are different.3 years back I'd be impatient for these to draw to a close--for a hundred things still undone would make me fidgety--today however it does not matter at all if Mitra sneaks the Bar up by a few extra minutes---there is no hurry for no one is waiting for me at home---Time is no longer of any consequence!!
One always dreams of having extra time--but never in this manner!!I wanted to have lots of leisure but with Sudhir-- for no matter however much of Time we spent together--for me it was never enough!!He always accused me of not liking Bombay/Mumbai---not that he was entirely wrong but I definitely had my reasons. Sudhir was one of those people who are passionately committed to their Profession.Many times people would call him while we were eating a Meal--he'd entertain each and every Client--pushing his food aside and letting it go cold but he never told the caller that he was eating his Meal and that he'd call back a few minutes later!!One sentence that rings in my head is one which he'd throw at me often whenever I exploded--it was "I'm like a Doctor to them--do you consider that the Doctor too has a private life in an Emergency?Well this too is a matter of Life or Death to some of my Clients and I need to reassure them that everything will be just fine and lay their minds at rest"!!
During the Vacations that is why I'd drag him out of Bombay/Mumbai for a few days.Despite all my Machiavellian Plans we never spent the entire Vacation away from home---at the most 3 weeks was what he'd allot me----and no amount of arguing,sulking or crying would move him even a tiny bit!!He always said that I came back home with a sour face--that's actually true too--for once we were home I'd have to share him with his Clients!!Today I do not feel like leaving this Flat we called home--all our Memories are here!!That is one of the reasons I'm braving the Heat--for even though Ritu's Chemo takes place every 3 weeks,it still leaves us sufficient time of roughly 15 days in between to go on a short Vacation if we can.Unfortunately the urge to escape Mumbai hasn't struck yet---and somehow,I don't think it ever will!!