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    SADDKATT   13,552
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Day 18

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Level 2, day 8.

Weight: 143.5
Waist: 30.5

I spent the last couple of days at the bottom end of my calorie range. And I've been chugging monster amounts of water, particularly in the evenings. The bloating seems to be abating. Two more days of level 2! Almost two-thirds done. Last night I slept from about 10:30 to almost 4:30. I don't think I woke up before then. But after 4:30, I was in and out until the alarm went off.

Over the years, I think I've taken every possible drug to help me sleep. In college, I was on Valium and Halcyon. The Valium made me dopey (and I was worried about becoming addicted). The Halcyon was creepy. Normally, when you sleep, you still have an awareness of time passing. Not with that; it was like passing out or fainting, and waking up hours later, stupid and confused and not feeling rested. I believe it has since been taken off the market.

I've taken Ambien and Lunesta (sleepwalking is scary). I've taken Benadryl, melatonin, Valerian root, NyQuil, Xanax. I've adjusted the room temperature. I've done biorhythm. Earplugs and mask. Deep breathing, visualization...you name it. For a while I had a self-hypnosis app on my iPod and would listen to it every night. Doctors, therapists...nothing has worked. The Remeron really does help. No hangover, no sleepwalking. Sometimes it gives me really weird and violent nightmares, but those have lessened with time. The weight thing is really the only issue.

And part of that probably has nothing to do with the medication. I'm a middle-aged schoolteacher. I've been abusing my body with junk food and cigarettes for most of my adult life. That crap takes its toll. I'd be plenty pudgy anyway.

But I'm on a better path now.
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