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    NSTARSMITH   92,537
SparkPoints
80,000-99,999 SparkPoints
 
 

Don't trust myself ...


Wednesday, April 24, 2013

I have observed in past blogs that I am actually much happier when I am managing food carefully, staying within my calorie limits and keeping up with my Spark program. Over-eating clearly satisfies one specific part of me but disappoints all the rest of me. It does not make me happy.

But the lure, the pull of food - usually the junk food - continues! Even when I have days or weeks of solid program under my belt, the sight of it, sound of someone crunching, smell of it or even memory or thought of it triggers off a pretty significant chemical cascade in my brain. Dang.

In the 12 Step Program, they say the stuff is "cunning, baffling and POWERFUL." Damn right!

In any case, I am finding very simple mindfulness to be a help, day to day, maintaining my program. Paying attention - DUH! - is the key.

But I do not trust myself! Over the decades of dieting I have abandoned sanity, apparently, over and over and gone back to overeating. I KNOW what to do; but I do not trust myself to mobilize myself consistently to do it.

I will NEVER QUIT. That's new! Even if I lapse again and again, I will NEVER QUIT! So there!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MSJESSPDX 4/27/2013 7:34AM

    It's a struggle for sure, but knowing what you need to do is key! You can do this, no matter how hard!

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KARENCRANER 4/25/2013 10:36AM

    The commitment of never quitting is key! I decided yesterday that I DIDN'T WANT the yummy-looking glazed donuts sitting on my counter. I decided in that moment to NOT QUIT, despite the fact that I'd eaten a full bag of Doritos the day before.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AUNTB63 4/24/2013 9:32PM

    Being aware....in the moment...mindful...all good thoughts. Being perfect and along with that being hard on oneself for not being perfect we all know is harmful with our daily battles with food. YOU can and will beat the battle of "junk" food and eventually find that balance that we all crave with food. Stay happy and keep sparking. emoticon

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THOMS1 4/24/2013 6:02PM

    emoticon All you can do is keep trying, tracking, and exercising.

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