Don't trust myself ...
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
I have observed in past blogs that I am actually much happier when I am managing food carefully, staying within my calorie limits and keeping up with my Spark program. Over-eating clearly satisfies one specific part of me but disappoints all the rest of me. It does not make me happy.
But the lure, the pull of food - usually the junk food - continues! Even when I have days or weeks of solid program under my belt, the sight of it, sound of someone crunching, smell of it or even memory or thought of it triggers off a pretty significant chemical cascade in my brain. Dang.
In the 12 Step Program, they say the stuff is "cunning, baffling and POWERFUL." Damn right!
In any case, I am finding very simple mindfulness to be a help, day to day, maintaining my program. Paying attention - DUH! - is the key.
But I do not trust myself! Over the decades of dieting I have abandoned sanity, apparently, over and over and gone back to overeating. I KNOW what to do; but I do not trust myself to mobilize myself consistently to do it.
I will NEVER QUIT. That's new! Even if I lapse again and again, I will NEVER QUIT! So there!