For 9 days now my diet has consisted of lean protein, fruits, veggies, eggs, and some greek yogurt or cottage cheese.
No iced caramel macchiato from Starbucks. No chocolate from the candy dish at work. No gluten free brownies. No quinoa. No delicious vanilla bean banana pancakes (made without grain using coconut flour) from PaleOMG.
And I'm cranky.
Really cranky. I'm tired of this limited food selection. I know it's just 17 days and I'm strong enough to get through this.....right? Ugh.
I'm sitting here at my desk with HUNGER and I don't think it's even necessarily physical, but my brain is going: WHY ARE YOU NOT FEEDING ME WHAT I LIKE????
I DO have a huge sugar addiction, which became very very clear on Day 4 of this detox.
I will admit here that it was not uncommon for me to make a 9x9 pan of gluten free brownies and eat the whole thing in 3 days. Maybe that isn't horrible, maybe it is. I justified it by telling myself it was the ONLY "treat" of the day (which in truth was a LIE because of the office candy I would dip into....). My once a week Iced Caramel Macchiato turned into a Fri-Sat-Sun thing. And then if I happened to be out for work, I'd maybe even get one more. Plus no joke, some weeks I am teaching 6-8 intense hour long zumba/toning/sentao classes, PLUS trying to run too. That allows me wiggle room for treats, but good grief, not as many as I was consuming.
I love sugar. I do. I just plain old love food. I love my quinoa with avocado and tomato and sour cream and cheese on it just as much as the brownies. I love bananas. I love steak.
This fricking detox is HARD. I keep reminding myself it's a good thing. It will reign in that sugar monster and get me to a healthier place where the treats are a few times a week FOR REAL and not becoming so prevalent in my daily intake.
I feel leaner. Less jiggly. I have dropped between 4-5 lbs. I feel more in control than I have in a long time.
But I also just feel HUNGRY down to my very core, and no amount of "unlimited" lean protein or carrots or spinach or other boring vegetable is going to fix that because it's the part of me that loves "good" food that is starving.