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    WOLFKITTY   65,554
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Excruciating

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

In 2013 I've played with fast food like visiting an old school friend. Testing it out, knowing that I had changed, and it would never be the same. I've grown and bettered my life, while fast food has changed too, with new menus, items, and facade design.. including and inexplicable food-like combinations.. and it's clear we are going in different directions.

But last night, I sat in the dark car after the "drive thru" and ate a couple of items that didn't really taste very good. And overnight, in the combination of some marine layer barometric pressure and a warm bedroom, and not enough water in the daylight hours before, I built up a MONsTER MIGRAINE.

It mixed with my uneasy, stressful sleep from the pressure of unresolved work waiting for me at the office, and interrupted me well before my alarm went off. I was in miserable pain.

Even worse, it fired up intestinal distress, the kind that made drinking water dangerous. I desperately needed to hydrate, and took little sips, but I couldn't avoid getting sick.

I had to go to work anyway. I warned them when I arrived that I wasn't feeling good, and not to take my expression personally. I struggled all day with waves of pain and running to the bathroom.

In the back of my mind I never felt like I deserved it, but I did feel like I KNEw better. I do. But it's like I'm learning the hard way all over again. My life used to be like this all the time - few times a month at the very least. It seemed inescapable, unending, and excruciating, like the depths of depression and waves of hopelessness that I didn't want to endure.

The truth is that I can avoid both, and all of it.
Making changes and choosing healthy is sometimes a challenge, may be difficult, but it's not excruciating. I need to remember.

[For the record, I got up and tried to take a walk, lasted 15 minutes, which is something I keep avoiding doing when I'm feeling perfectly well. It just goes to prove that I can, and will.]
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LILYPAD12311 5/6/2013 10:18PM

    I hope you feel better soon,,,,,, BUT thank you for sharing,,,,,, sitting in the dark ,,,, eating fast food,,,,, reminds me of what I do/did... I also sometimes get depressed which is normal... but difficult to handle.... I usually handle it by eating fast food... or aka comfort foods.... aka binging... but you found a great way to deal with it,,, going for a walk,,,, I know I should do it but I don't,,,, I will do it next time I feel an urge to eat fast food..... thanks for sharing emoticon and teaching!

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HAPPY92003 5/2/2013 11:57AM

    I'm so sorry to hear you weren't feeling well:( I have the exact same reaction to fast and processed foods (people think I am crazy) and most of the time I avoid them...but sometimes I just can't resist...and I am reminded the next day why I stay away from it. I hope you are feeling better ((hugs))

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MERRY_XMAS 4/30/2013 5:24PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SKINNYINMYHEAD 4/26/2013 2:49PM

    I hear ya sister.. I've been 100% off sugar and other junk for 8 weeks now (including dairy).. the other day on a business trip they served scrambled eggs .. afterwards I felt horrible.. sick to my stomach.. headache... like a drug was in my veins... and I found out there was dairy in the eggs.. it was SO weird because I'm not "allergic" to dairy... I just hadn't had any in a while... it really brought home the impact of foods (and all the additives) on my body... weird.. Hang in there..

Annie

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SCOOTER4263 4/26/2013 9:01AM

    Sounds almost like a food allergy. Maybe there's something in that new selection of stuff that disagrees with you.

When I need a "fast" food, I stop in one of those Quickie Mart places that has a reasonable selection (or a grocery if there's one nearby) and get a container of hummus and a sweet pepper or a cuke - whatever they have. Wash the produce off with the water I always have in the car (I carry a pocket knife in the glove box, too, for just such occasions) and use the veg as a scoop for the hummus. Washed down with the ever-present water, it keeps me full until I can get actual food.

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ZEN_WOMAN 4/25/2013 5:49PM

    J-,

Just wanted to say what a beautifully written post. It was so truthful and raw. I am proud of you for taking that walk!

Thank you for sharing with your Spark friends. This post reminded me that I am not alone in this battle with food. Sometimes I feel so hopeless in getting back to where I was just a year ago. Since even losing a 1/2 pound a week has escaped me but gaining a 1/2 pound a day has been quite easy.

Let's get back to reminding ourselves how these bad food choices affect our bodies and hopefully we won't repeat it so often.

MJ-

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1DERLAND14 4/25/2013 4:55PM

    I have experienced this painful lesson as well after months of a healthier lifestyle and I too was sick. The food didn't even taste good and I knew it in the that it wasn't worth it. Our bodies have a good way to felling us what we need/don't need. Great job for listening and learning the lesson quickly! You'll be back to YOU in no time!

Kudos for taking a walk also! emoticon

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LJCANNON 4/24/2013 2:04PM

    emoticon It is the Painful Lessons that we tend to remember the best, isn't it? Our body really does NOT like Fast Food and once have exposed it to the Healthy Options, the Old Options are Not Very Appealing. I am continually surprised at how quickly our Body adapts!

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MANLEYSANDY 4/24/2013 1:57PM

    It is all in the choices. I totally understand that busy lifestyles, work, all those things make eating healthy hard. But as we all know, preparation is key, but sometimes grabbing a quick bite somewhere is just a necessity. I do eat fast food, but I pick and chose were I eat it from; Chipotle, Subway, Carl's Jr. has some great healthy choices, Panda Express. We have to work within our lifestyles and make it work for us, so we can truly make it a lifestyle! We do know what is right but it is hard to put it into place some time and sometimes a hamburger and fries seems so right. You have achieved so much and learned so much, don't lose sight of that!!

Hang in there!

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JORDAN1019 4/24/2013 12:58PM

    Comfort food is no longer comfortable... Hope you're feeling better.. emoticon

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DDOORN 4/24/2013 11:21AM

    Sometimes it may feel like we are re-visiting old territory over and over again, but much like the story Heller tells in Catch-22, we bring increasing amounts of awareness and learning to each repeat...as I'm sure you are finding!

Hoping the migraine passes post haste! :-)

Don

Comment edited on: 4/24/2013 11:22:15 AM

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HIPPICHICK1 4/24/2013 10:05AM

    On the weekend I was surrounded by people eating fast food and I sat in my seat (behind my pottery display at an Art and Craft Fair) eating my home-prepared lunch and snacks SOOOOOOO happy that I don't eat that way anymore.

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JESPAH 4/24/2013 8:22AM

    I know you were in pain but man oh man your body gave you a good, swift kick.

I don't drink straight tequila because I got sick from it.

In 1979.

Remember this experience, and I bet you won't associate fast food with anything but migraines.

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FRENCHTOSD 4/24/2013 5:08AM

    There's nothing there that is edible for me anymore. I think this is really a positive for your health. Your system can't take that junk anymore.

XO

Sharon

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IMREITE 4/24/2013 12:53AM

    it is funny that when we start to change our habits the old ones that used to give us comfort our not repellant. Our tastes and interests change.

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BUTTERFLYROSE1 4/23/2013 11:54PM

    It's amazing when we change our food diet intake to whole unprocessed food how are taste buds react to it. Then your body has a physical reaction to all the preservatives, salt, sugar. etc. I am glad you are feeling better, can't wait to see you again. emoticon emoticon

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FITWITHIN 4/23/2013 11:43PM

    I hope things will get better for you soon. I have it the fast food restaurants a time more than I needed to. Your so, right it doesn't even taste the same after changing your eating habits. Not even my favorite. Classic coke! emoticon emoticon . Many blessing to you.

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