Tuesday, April 23, 2013
In 2013 I've played with fast food like visiting an old school friend. Testing it out, knowing that I had changed, and it would never be the same. I've grown and bettered my life, while fast food has changed too, with new menus, items, and facade design.. including and inexplicable food-like combinations.. and it's clear we are going in different directions.
But last night, I sat in the dark car after the "drive thru" and ate a couple of items that didn't really taste very good. And overnight, in the combination of some marine layer barometric pressure and a warm bedroom, and not enough water in the daylight hours before, I built up a MONsTER MIGRAINE.
It mixed with my uneasy, stressful sleep from the pressure of unresolved work waiting for me at the office, and interrupted me well before my alarm went off. I was in miserable pain.
Even worse, it fired up intestinal distress, the kind that made drinking water dangerous. I desperately needed to hydrate, and took little sips, but I couldn't avoid getting sick.
I had to go to work anyway. I warned them when I arrived that I wasn't feeling good, and not to take my expression personally. I struggled all day with waves of pain and running to the bathroom.
In the back of my mind I never felt like I deserved it, but I did feel like I KNEw better. I do. But it's like I'm learning the hard way all over again. My life used to be like this all the time - few times a month at the very least. It seemed inescapable, unending, and excruciating, like the depths of depression and waves of hopelessness that I didn't want to endure.
The truth is that I can avoid both, and all of it.
Making changes and choosing healthy is sometimes a challenge, may be difficult, but it's not excruciating. I need to remember.
[For the record, I got up and tried to take a walk, lasted 15 minutes, which is something I keep avoiding doing when I'm feeling perfectly well. It just goes to prove that I can, and will.]