Well, its snowing (again) here in Colorado.... It snowed a few days last week and started snowing again last night and snowed all night. Its been more like February/March this month... I don't know if I would say that I'm in a slump, but the weather hasn't exactly helped my motivation much. I'm going to be working out tonight (as long as the roads aren't too horrible when I get done with work) and then going to tutor (after I go home and shower of course). I'm sure a lot of you can relate to this, but when the weather is cold, snowy (or rainy) all I want to do is stay inside, stay warm and watch movies. Luckily I have my friend Meaghan holding me accountable for working out today. If I didn't...not gonna lie, I would just take my happy butt right home after work.
I've just kind of been stuck between the same 2-3 lbs... I go up 2 and then down 3 then up 2 then down 1.... I'm trying to change some of my eating habits back to being a little more consistent, but I'm also having to wait until I get paid at the end of the month (basically 1 more week) so that I can re-stock up on salad stuff and bring those to work at least 3-4 days a week instead of my bagel with salmon. I think I've been over-doing it a little on sodium lately... I don't add salt to anything but just the foods I've been eating lately are more than likely higher in sodium. I just need to get more diligent about working out consistently and making better choices when it comes to WHAT I'm going to eat... I feel like, for the most part, my portions aren't out of control. I try to eat slowly and only eat until I'm satisfied- not actually FULL.
I also need to start pushing myself more when I work out. I feel like there are some days that I could have done more than I did....but I was lazy and let myself get away with doing the bare minimum. I'm not going to get where I want by doing the bare minimum (even though that is better than absolutely nothing). I've been trying to beat my mile time each time I go (even if its only by a couple seconds) and for the most part it works, but there are times when I just do my time and don't push myself enough to beat my prior/fastest mile time. Right now I'm at a 17:48 mile time...not great, but considering I started at a 24 minute mile back in February, not horrendously horrible... I want to be able to do a 12 minute mile... It might take me a while to get there, and that's okay, but that's my goal. Honestly, I would be happy with a 14 minute mile at this point! But, I'll get to that and then I'll go for my 12 minutes.
I always HATED having to do the mile run test in school. I was always the last one finished and would finish around 20 minutes (I'm sure sometimes longer). It was so embarrassing....the PE teachers would always be yelling at me to hurry up and to keep going....everyone else had their 12 minute mile (some faster, some a little slower) and were always done...just waiting for me....the fat kid to get through her torment. I do remember one time getting to the end and not being able to breath (gotta love having asthma) and just crying because it hurt so much (on top of the embarrassment). One of the popular kids actually came over to me and asked me if I was okay (and actually seemed genuine about it- and wasn't trying to make fun of me for once). He actually walked with me into the nurses office so I could get my inhaler. But yeah...I dreaded that day in PE....There were a few times I went to the nurse for a "stomach ache". I knew that the PE teacher knew I was just trying to get out of it, but I really did have a stomach ache from the anxiety of having to run that stupid mile. What's funny is that the course they set up for us to run the mile was up and down the street that the school was on and it went right past my house at the time. I always just wanted to stop running and go home when I went past my house...I didn't because I would have gotten in really big trouble LOL but I sure did think about it! Now, a mile doesn't seem quite as horrible...maybe its because I'm doing it on my own free will and I'm not being watched by an entire PE class.... Sure, I have days when I feel like its taking me forever to hit that mile, but in general, I kind of wonder why a mile felt SOOOOO long when I was younger, but not as bad now.
On a different note:
Everything with FC is still great- Its so hard to not see him during the week, but weekends are great. We went to his roommate's birthday part on Saturday (his roommate has cognitive delays and so FC is kind of living with him for a support). It was a lot of fun. They had pizza (I had one slice and stopped) and cake and ice cream (I asked for a small piece and enjoyed every bite of it!). After that, we played Pictionary- girls against boys. Girls won :) When we were leaving FC told me that I had to stop being so good at everything LOL. I like games, and I like winning them...who doesn't like winning? I think he was just giving me a hard time, but I also don't want people to not want to play games with us (specifically me) because I always win haha. I do lose at games and I'm a good sport about it, but I generally don't try to lose. But anyways, things are great.... I'm trying to figure out how to sort of....nudge him into making some healthier choices. He does not seem like he really gives much thought at all to how healthy or unhealthy certain things are. He drinks a lot of calories...soda, powerade, gatorade, etc....and he doesn't generally go for water if he's thirsty- which is a way of your body saying that it needs water. I guess the best thing I can do right now is just make my own healthy choices and see if he starts to follow a little... He used to play college basketball and he played football in HS so I'm sure that when he was as active as he needed to be when playing those sports he could eat more calories/drink what he wanted and it didn't affect him like it is now. I think that it might be hard to go from being able to eat and drink whatever and not seeing changes to not being able to just eat and drink anything might be hard or he doesn't notice that that's what's making the difference... I don't know. I just don't want to fall back into bad habits because I'm following him...I think that's what I'm worried about more than anything. I just....want to be healthy and knowing that FC wants kids someday (I'm still very on the fence about the whole kids thing right now) really puts some pressure on as well...I don't want to get pregnant (if I can even get pregnant as it is) and be unhealthy. There are SO many health issues that can come up when you're overweight/obese and not taking care of yourself when you are pregnant. I don't want that for me.
I have noticed that since "the (ex) boy" broke up with me I haven't really cooked much at all...I've either been grabbing something, going out with FC, or going to my parents for dinner...I've cooked a few meals, but I used to cook 5+ times a week. I need to get back to making my own food and not being so lazy and unmotivated. I just hate cooking for just me...and some nights I'm not done with tutoring until after 8pm... Who wants to cook a meal for one person after 8 at night....not this girl. I know that i could make things ahead of time, but I don't like leftovers... I don't know what it is, but there are very few left overs that I actually like to eat.
So I'm going to work on: making my own meals- healthy meals, working out more consistently, and also pushing myself consistently when I work out.
Anywho, I need to finish getting my day together and get going, but have a great week spark lovlies!!
Until Next Time