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Flubbed that one

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

My last blog was titled "Big challenge ahead." I talked about my fears of going to my parents' home for two weeks full of festive meals with limited options and stated my goals as "survival -- ideally maintenance, but survival." What I meant was that I knew I'd fall hard but hoped I could come home two weeks later and be right back on track.

Yeah, no. I fell just as hard as I thought I would (plan to fail, y'all) and all the old habits came ravening back. I got home two weeks ago. The first week I finished all the junk in the house -- four 12 ounce packs of M&Ms. A bag of Hershey's kisses. I even stocked up on Dollar Tree Easter candy at 25 cents a bag -- that stuff isn't even chocolate -- it's "chocolate flavored candy"! And I ate my way through it like I was hell-bent on killing myself.

There was healthy food too. I also ate my way through three Costco size bags of celery sticks (2.5 lbs each), one of sugar snap peas, a couple of melons, some pounds of fruit, beef, chicken, two full fillets of salmon at a sitting, you name it.

And then Sunday I was at a birthday party, eating a cupcake full of frosting and thought: "This really isn't so good." And thought about all the much better tasting food I had turned down in my months of consciousness and how all that work was being undone mouthful by mouthful.

So Monday I stepped on the scale and turned back. I weighed in at 293.6 -- 17 lbs more than one month ago. 17! I have never lost 17 lbs in a month but I have gained it.

A few habits come back easily. Packing my lunch instead of eating junk. Planning my menu. I don't have energy for calorie counting right now, but I am pretty sure I can get to a healthy eating place just by portion control. When I start calorie-counting I tend to go off the deep end and over-restrict and I wonder how much that has to do with my falling so hard. I don't know.

I also don't have time right now for organized exercise. That is, I would rather allocate my time otherwise. Instead of doing food prep and cleanup and organizing when the kids are awake and then exercising after bedtime, I am getting outside with the kids in the afternoon and doing the chores after bedtime. Which means I need to be conscious when outside to move around and run after them and play instead of standing in place pushing a swing and calling to the others. That way I get some movement, even if it's not sustained exercise. Because honestly? I care more about playing with my kids actively outside than I do about losing an extra .5 lb a week. And yes, I know exercise is really about the heart, but research shows 5 minutes here and there can get you what you need for heart-health even if it doesn't support weight loss.

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