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PAIN OF ALONE


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Feel so empty and alone right now..the best of what I had is now over and now its just try to scrape together and muster enough will to try to find all the broken pieces of my once whole life and hope and pray that I can maybe be at least half of the person I once was..there is no more compassion for others within me any more..the person that was once compassionate,helpful,kind,and willing to help others out is gone..now I need to find a reason to help myself..I can't think of one reason to become that person again..I always wind up being walked all over,taken for granted,assumed to be naive,and looked at only as a dispensary of stuff..just once I want someone or something to want me in their lives rather than feeling like I fight for everything and everyone I want in my life without any one or anything fighting to be in my life..I struggle daily with not feeling good enough and feeling like I will never find true happiness..just wanna crawl into a ball and cry until I disappear from this tragedy that is my heart..
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
FISHER011 5/16/2013 3:34AM

    Pull up them boot straps- you've got another journey!
Don't worry about others, or what they are thinking about you ,They are not taking care you.- only you can do that!
You are a worthwhile person & you deserve to be happy.


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CHRISTINASP 4/24/2013 3:32PM

    emoticon Maybe indeed it's best to stop being helpful and compassionate to others and to start being these things to yourself.


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GINA180847 4/24/2013 11:38AM

    Some great ideas here and a lot of love. Do you see how many people care a great deal. Not everyone is so lucky. You are loved.

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RUNNING-LIFE 4/24/2013 10:23AM

    I am in the same boat right now. last year I was diagnosed with cancer and although my chemo treatments finished in January and I was given the all clear, my psychologist thinks I have depression and PTSD.

It is definitely not easy- existing rather than living is tough I know. people sometimes say to me to "take one day at a time". Ya? Sometimes however I think it's not "One day at a time" but "one HOUR at a time".
emoticon I am here if you ever need anything. You are in my prayers. God bless you!

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BLONDENAM 4/23/2013 11:12PM

    I have been where you are right now. I was diagnosed with depression and finally getting the help I needed has helped me through some very painful days in my life. I was diagnosed when my husband suffered a brain aneurysm and I hit a wall. I starting talking to someone and taking medication and my life became so much better. When our son was killed I hit that wall again but this time i had the tools that I needed to walk through that valley and come out on the otherside in one piece even though I did leave some small pieces along the way. I am just telling you this to show you that you can feel better and that life will get better. I will keep you in my prayers and I hope that you can find someone to talk to soon.
please know that I do care.

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NANALISA-4 4/23/2013 10:18PM

    I have been there too...please know that I WANT YOU IN MY LIFE!!
BIG HUGE emoticon

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SILVERWITCH59 4/23/2013 8:50PM

    It will get better. I really hope you can find a support group. I think you would be amazed to find out just how many people feel the way you do. Just the act of getting up and out will help you release some of this sadness. Just remember you are not alone . ANd love yourself emoticon emoticon the same way you would love some one who was telling you what you just told us.
Much love

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AMBERZADE67 4/23/2013 6:41PM

    I'm sorry that you're feeling sad. None of us is ever alone in the way that you are thinking of it.

Goddess bless you.

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AVANELL 4/23/2013 5:54PM

    In God's love letter to us, the Bible, it says in Isaiah 49:15, 16 that even if a nursing mother could forget her child God will not forget you. He has you inscribed on the palms of His hands. It also says in Jeremiah 29:11 that He has a good plan for your life that includes a future and a hope. God loves you so much that He gave His one and only Son to purchase your redemption; your salvation from the bondage of sin was paid for by the blood of Jesus Christ when He was crucified on that cross. There's no one that would show that much love for another person than that! If you will reach out to Him He'll save you, fill you with His Spirit and give you a reason for living. He will touch you and deliver you from the depression that you are experiencing. I've had Him do that for me. Won't you give Him a chance to change your life and give you a reason to live?

There are many people here that love you and care about you. I'm praying for you!

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PEZMOM1 4/23/2013 4:23PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SPARKFRAN514 4/23/2013 3:39PM

    Sorry things are so awful for you right now. I hope you have some one you can get help from have you talked to some one who can give you professional advice.

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MARYBETH4884 4/23/2013 3:32PM

    You are in my prayers! God loves you hang on to that! Find a church, you need a support system. Read these blog comments! We care about you unconditionally! You are not alone!

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THINNYGINNY 4/23/2013 2:55PM

    Wish I was your next door neighbor - cause we would be having coffee right now in my messy house - I have felt the way you do - and have fought back. It is tough - but I am hoping you will care for your own self and find help - curling up in a ball and crying DOES help - for a little bit - but then you have to uncurl and reach out again. There really are great people out there who won't use you!!

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JTREMBATH 4/23/2013 2:54PM

    emoticon emoticon

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TXMEMAW6 4/23/2013 1:01PM

    I'll be praying for you. God can and will help you if you will call on Him. Remember, when you feel there is no one who loves you or wants you, you can always turn to our Heavenly Father who loves you more than you can ever imagine. Trust Him and hopefully you will feel better soon. Hugs coming your way!

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3016DEBRA 4/23/2013 12:43PM

  emoticon I would advise you to pick up the phone and call a crisis center immediately. This sounds like the onset of depression & you really need to talk to somebody. Exercise is extremely helpful too.
I wish you the best but PLEASE ~ reach out to a health professional SOON!!! Get started on a healthier path & the happiness & pleasure will return. God Bless YOU! emoticon emoticon

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LJCANNON 4/23/2013 11:34AM

    emoticon Treat yourself like you would treat your Best Friend if she was feeling like You do right now. Forget Everyone Else and what they "Expect" of you. Do what will make you feel Strong and Content!
(NeverorNow had a Really Good Idea!)

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SPARTAN40 4/23/2013 11:27AM

    emoticon

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SEWINGMAMACDS 4/23/2013 11:22AM

    emoticon emoticon

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DAWNSJOURNEY 4/23/2013 11:09AM

    emoticon

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JULIA_211 4/23/2013 11:04AM

    I have felt like you do right now. Prayer and faith got me through it. emoticon Forget anyone else right now and be kind to yourself. Treat yourself like you would treat a friend who comes to you saying the things you wrote about. Sometimes a good cry helps. emoticon

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NEVERORNOW 4/23/2013 11:02AM

    Do you knit or crochet? Find a charity cause you can make things for and then DO it. There are dozens of such causes online, if you need help finding one, contact me. You can do it at home and then mail or hand-deliver to a hospital or animal shelter, or whatever. Doing for others, anonymously, even from a distance and when you don't feel like it, can do wonders in healing hurts. emoticon

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REBIRTHDIVA 4/23/2013 10:53AM

    emoticon and prayers. even though it feels as if you and your heart are broken, know that your true heart can never be broken. it is pure and divine. be kind, loving and compassionate to YOU. you are worthy.

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RAINBOWFALLS 4/23/2013 10:16AM

    I hope you find a way to start with loving you! You are worth it. emoticon

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ROMANTILLY 4/23/2013 10:09AM

    You should call someone, anyone, and get the help you need. There are many places that offer free counseling and support groups - many church groups offer free support groups. There is nothing good about depression, especially severe depression when you feel life isn't worth living. You need to get help right away. I pray God will lead you to someone, someplace where you can get the help you need.

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HFAYE81 4/23/2013 10:04AM

    I'm so sorry you feel like this...I've been there before and I know it seems dark...that there's no light and no hope but I PROMISE it gets better. It doesn't seem like it but it really does. Stay strong, focus on taking care of yourself, give yourself time to heal and don't be hard on yourself. emoticon

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DOVESEYES 4/23/2013 9:30AM

    emoticon

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TIME2BLOOM4ME 4/23/2013 9:07AM

    emoticon

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PROUD-GRANDMA 4/23/2013 9:02AM

    emoticon

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LITTLEGUYSMOM1 4/23/2013 8:40AM

    emoticon I'm lifting up prayers for you. May you find comfort in God's presence.

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BARCLE 4/23/2013 8:17AM

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PATTYKLAVER 4/23/2013 8:16AM

    I've been there and know how painful it is. Please try to look for things to do that you will enjoy doing. Try one - even thought it may be hard and you will have to push yourself.
Then try another and another. Soon you will start feeling better about yourself. I am in the process of doing this again. It's hard but worth it. You're worth it.



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KANOE10 4/23/2013 8:13AM

    I am sorry for your pain. Can you find someone to talk to? It might help you heal.

emoticon

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CDCSMITH2013 4/23/2013 8:11AM

    I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. For now, just keep breathing. Survive first, and then figure out ways to heal.

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