Monday, April 22, 2013
I started over again after almost two weeks of skipping the gym and binge eating. I won't dwell. I allowed it to happen. It was my fault. But it is my responsibility to stop the cycle. I decided to stop it today.
I wore a sleeveless top at the gym. I successfully decided to pursue a healthy lifestyle more than three years ago, but felt too insecure to wear a sleeveless shirt at the gym. I felt too fat, even at my thinnest. Those days are over. I may not be at goal weight yet, but I have decided to accept my body as is. I am a work in progress. I will wear a red sleeveless top tomorrow morning at Spin.
I bought a pedometer online. I've realized that I binge and overeat when I am sad, lonely, overwhelmed, bored, and at home for too long on the weekends. Three years ago, when I often made $70, even $50 a paycheck, I would walk the pain away. (See this blog: www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
) The weather is wonderful. My life is now wonderful. And I will walk.
I ate 1,698 calories today. My calorie range for Mondays is 1,400. I overate at work. Too much peanut butter, and an unplanned lemonade drink. Tomorrow will be better. I went home. I was not hungry. So I did not eat. I brushed my teeth, and applied a facial mask. I don't remember the last time I did that. I have tried many times not to eat when I am not hungry, but the good side never wins. But, today, it wasn't hard. On the way home, I listened to my body. I was not hungry. I decided that it's about time that I took control of my emotions and my body.
The cycle has ended.