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Crippling anxiety

Monday, April 22, 2013

Your brief words of encouragement and comfort would be wonderful at this moment.
I have become a prisoner to my anxiety, unwanted negative thoughts coming from anxiety and its been gnawing away at my days (about two weeks.)

I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (panic attacks) and OCD when I was 20 years old. I wake up in a state of panic now and often find myself shaking/ ‘panicked’ breathing throughout the day, I am having trouble even exercising (it doesn’t seem to help much but does get accomplished.). I find myself sometimes in tears with the sensation of needing to crawl out of my skin.

This was very much under control…

Until I began interviewing for my dream teaching job about a month ago. I needn’t go through the story again (it’s in other blog entries) but I have badly wanted this job for three years and now I am so close, passed my second interview and patiently awaiting what comes next---I have been waiting for two weeks and that is feeding a great deal of my extreme angst. In many fields two weeks would mark a critical point of perhaps concluding it isn’t happening; in my case where so much needs to be verified/approved by various entities quite possibly not but HORRIBLE negative outcomes plague my mind.

I can’t help it. This job search has been so arduous, so painful and disappointing and now to be so close but have the imprints of all the past disappointment/disillusionment are causing me current, unbelievable pain.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I've been wondering what the status of the job search was. Sorry to hear that you are still up in the air with it. Having never to try to cope with it I have no words of advice except to breath slowly and with deliberation. Can you contact them to just kind of"check in"or would that be frowned upon by the powers that be?I wish you a speedy response. Hang in there.
    1429 days ago
    The techniques in Luskin's Stress Free for Good help me, as does Xanax, Inderol, Buspar, yoga, meditation, and at least half an hour of cardio a day to burn off some of that adrenaline. Wishing you relief.
    1429 days ago
    emoticon I pray for you that your dream job comes through. It is easy to say be patient, but so much harder to accomplish. No matter what you have done all you can to get this position. So it is up to fate now that you succeed. Great luck!
    1430 days ago
    I can't imagine what it would be like to deal with anxiety like that all the time!

    You might consider talking to your doctor for some type of medication to help you with the anxiety in the short term until you hear about the job.
    1430 days ago
    Yes I can understand what is happening .. You have your hopes and dreams on this job.

    I have always held the thought that. If it is meant to be it will happen.
    If not there was a reason that it wasn't meant to happen xxx emoticon
    Thinking of you xx Hugs Susie
    1430 days ago

    It can be even more stressful waiting to hear about an outcome than to hear a negative outcome. I once sent thank you/still interested notes to a potential employer for about 5 weeks after my initial interview, before they brought me in for a second interview.

    Wasn't sure I wanted the job, but was simultaneously afraid of rejection and getting the job and it not working out when I got called in for a second interview. It ended up working out, but it was stressful.

    I'm not going to say "I know the feeling". But I've faced a similar dilemma.

    Hope that you get the job. Best of fortune to you.
    1430 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/22/2013 9:12:02 PM
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