Monday, April 22, 2013
I admit I started bitchin' about the shvitzin' to my husband. Then, on reflection, I realized, it wasn't so bad.
We live pretty far out of town, in a skinny little valley between two mountains. So when we go to town for anything, we do all our errands all at once. In this instance, we went to the grocery store after going to the gym. I did not shower afterwards. I washed my hands and face, but that was it. A shlump dressed in shmattes.
The first person we met was someone from the only job that ever downsized me. I was not fired. I was removed to a low-level job that payed a third as much and would not pay my mortgage. It was embarrassing to meet this person. He knew, and I knew, that I was not downsized for cause, because I was very hard-working and turned out GREAT "numbers". I was simply TOO EXPENSIVE. I was an employee hired from the East coast when the company had money, which they no longer had in a rough economy. A few other more experienced, more mature and therefore more expensive folks like myself were similarly replaced by younger and less expensive newbies.
I haven't seen this person since 2008 but he recognized me immediately and came over to talk. He was very friendly and didn't seem to have any bad feelings at all. He still worked there. He still thought my treatment was unfair and claimed to mention it periodically in hopes they would take me back. Not that I would ever want to go back. Fooey on them. They were, in fact, part of the stress that was part of my weight gain.
The second person was someone from my husband's office, a professional SUIT who has only seen pictures of me looking fine. I tried to find excuses to shy away but they failed.
Afterwards, I tried to find a mirror somewhere in the store. How BAD did my hair look? I didn't used to be so obsessed with feeling so negative about myself!
And then I remembered what the first person said, the person I used to work with. Someone told him I "resurfaced" in town last week, and he had answered, "Oh, sure, and you saw Captain America, too!"
I've actually been back in town for TWO YEARS, shopping in that store and in that neighborhood and even at that former workplace, once. But no one has recognized me. I am now back to the weight I was when they hired me. Not the weight I was before my dad died and I moved across country and things got frantic. But I am at the weight these employees recognize. My body and face have both responded to the changes I've made since I've been on Sparkpeople. Yep, I am recognizeably me again.
Heh, heh. Me again. Maybe I'll stop bitchin' about shvitzin' now.