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    CLRWILLIAMS25   32,399
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Monday, April 22, 2013

I have decided to stop drinking. I used to be able to drink with no problems. Now, it seems that I can have a drink or 2 (fine) or 10. There is no 3-9 for me anymore (not that 9 is a safe amount either). I didn't do anything stupid like drink and drive, but I keep waking up after these binges feeling like crap and feeling like an idiot because I don't have 100% of my memories from the night before. This doesn't happen weekly or even monthly, but I hate it. Well, maybe it is once a month because it happened in Charleston last month and it happened when we went camping in February...

Part of the problem stems from who I hang out with. Most of my friends "technically" binge drink every weekend. Binge drinking is 5+ drinks in a sitting, and that is the norm for a Saturday night with my group of friends. I used to think it was an age thing (all in our 20s), but I've noticed that it's not normal nor is it healthy. From what I see in my spark friend's trackers, no one else regularly drinks 5 drinks in a night, let alone 10! I don't want that to be my normal weekend behavior.

I haven't decided if/when I will drink again, but I think taking an indefinite hiatus is a good thing. I think it will be hard initially because our friends drink when they get together, but I think it will eventually be okay. I talked to J about it and he said he noticed something had changed (embarrassing to hear...). He is on board and supportive of whatever I decide.
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLPURNELL 4/26/2013 2:43PM

    Congrats on recognizing it as a problem and having the strength to share that here. Know that we all support you no matter what and that if you set your mind to it you can do it just like with weight loss.

emoticon emoticon

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BEHKHEKKHUN 4/22/2013 8:08PM

  That's a big undertaking and I know that it can be a really hard to see through. It will be important to have people in your life, not just online, that support you in your decision. Coming from a family with a history addiction I really watch myself. But also having friends and loved ones that know me and support me is key. I personally will have a drink, and think moderation is what works for me. But it doesn't for many people.

Good life choices are hard to make and I wish you the best in this...


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STODD251 4/22/2013 12:17PM

    I think that's smart. About a month ago, I decided to go without alcohol for a month. It was surprisingly hard. There are so many social situations that it seems appropriate to have a drink. Now I've settled into limiting myself to 3 tops, which is probably way more than I should have, but if I keep it to a once a week thing, I can justify the splurge.

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HFAYE81 4/22/2013 11:38AM

    Do we have the same friends? Because I think we do. You aren't going to like hearing this, but the only way I have found success is to hang out with my friends less...not go out with them every weekend/day/whatever. And if I do, I always leave early. If I have 1 drink, I have water after that and then leave. I've had great success doing this, and even though I miss them terribly I feel a lot better, and saved a load of money too. I still see them and do the party-time drinking every once and a while (maybe once every 3 to 6 months) but the rest of the time I skip out early or not go out at all. My decision is reinforced as a good one every time I wake up feeling like death after a rare night out.

Another thing I have done (because I don't want to be entirely friendless and stay home alone) is to spend a lot more time with friends and former acquaintances who are now good friends. Additionally, some friends from my drinking friends group are very much open to doing things that don't involve drinking.

There is the friend or two who is fading away in closeness...despite that, I feel like I am making the right choice. Sometimes friendships are toxic. It's not their fault or yours.

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SDLEE514 4/22/2013 11:11AM

    Yep. I have had similar experiences lately (I thought we vowed not to be blog twins!). I actually tried to stop drinking as part of my new years resolutions. That just didn't work. Sometimes you just feel like a drink. Sometimes, when you're out with friends, you just keep going. I rarely have alcohol during the week but when I do go out with friends (um like this past Saturday) I go overboard. And you're right, its not healthy at all; not only do I want to eat everything unhealthy the day after it also really affects my anxiety and makes it like a thousand times worse. With all these things against drinking WHY do I/we keep falling into the same patterns?! One would think it would dissipate after college.

Anyways, I don't have the answers. Best of luck to you on your choice and hopefully if you do decide to have an occasional drink again we can find some balance. Afterall, that's what it should be about, moderation and balance. Thanks for making me feel like I'm not alone!

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PMRUNNER 4/22/2013 10:38AM

    Good luck. Glad to hear that you had the self awareness to realize this and hope you have the fortitude to stick to your choices. If you have difficulty in certain situations, avoid those situations. This may mean not seeing some of those friends or seeing them in a different context. Replace those experiences with other, alcohol free experiences. Glad to hear that J is supportive, that is important.

We have cut back a lot too, especially since the kids came along. For me, changes to my alcohol intake are similar to the changes in my chocolate intake. I limit my intake to one (or two), make it a really good beer/red wine or quality dark chocolate, and I deliberately savor it rather than mindlessly consuming it.

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WORDWOMAN7 4/22/2013 10:28AM

    You are wise to pay attention to these issues. Do what is best for your body and your health, and be intentional about it. Good for you!

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