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    HAPPYWALKER   36,846
30,000-39,999 SparkPoints
Feeling peaceful for the first time in a long time

Monday, April 22, 2013

Now that I'm not stressing over food or my weight, I feel this huge sense of relief and peace. I have vision of what I want my life to be like, and I am living towards it. There is no doubt or anxiety. The depression I was struggling with over the winter months has lifted. I feel content most of the time.

I've tried to give up dieting a few times in past years, but never seemed to quite trust myself and always ran back to some new diet, sometimes an old familiar diet. I lost weight on diets because at the beginning I was always determined (often because I was feeling desperate). But history always repeated itself and as I couldn't keep it up, I would gain all of the weight back.

Something has changed and I'm no longer feeling anxious about taking my time and making small, cumulative changes that will stick. I am focused on the blessed feeling of the gift of good health. I am feeling patient about how long this will take and I'm more than okay with staying off the scale and having faith in this process.

I am feeling okay with how I look now too. No more self hatred and feeling like a failure. Three weeks into my plan, I'm already beginning to feel slightly better physically.

I went out to lunch Saturday with a dear friend at a place that has the most delicious sandwiches. Instead of my usual soup & sandwich, I had soup & salad. The salad was romaine with lots of other veggies, feta, and a cucumber dressing - it tasted wonderful! I don't miss bread at all anymore. Even earlier in the week when my husband and I took my brother-in-law out to lunch, I had a big beautiful salad with walnuts, dried cherries, and grilled chicken and a dijon vinegrette that was out of this world. I noted to myself how satisfying it was and the huge sandwiches and french fries they were eating did not appeal to me at all.

Yesterday was hard because I was bored in the afternoon. Boredom always used to be a big trigger for eating mindlessly. The hubs said he was bored too. We ended up loading the dogs into the car for a ride and stopped at a Chinese buffet for dinner. They have a big grill there whereby you can choose from a wide assortment of noodles, veggies, and protein to be stir fried. I got a very small amount of angel hair pasta with lots of veggies and shrimp. It's hot, fresh, and tastes great - unlike some of the prepared items in the trays that are either fried and/or contain a lot of salt and MSG. I didn't go back for seconds and eat to overfullness like I used to. The best thing was that I didn't have any of the desserts. I would always get a couple things to go with my tea PLUS ice cream with syrup and peanuts. The thing is, I did not feel deprived. I felt completely satisfied. That's what going 3 weeks without sugar does for you. The cravings are just not there.

My goal this week is to pay greater attention to portions. I'll take smaller amounts with the agreement that if I want more, I can have it. I need to constantly tune in to detect fullness versus just eating to eat.

Another goal is to walk every day this week. I love to walk outdoors, but I've kept up the excuse that it's too cold out. The warmer weather is just not arriving here, but that's not a good enough excuse when there is no rain or snow. I can always dress in layers to stay warm. Usually, once I get going my body temp raises enough that I'm even more comfortable with it cool out.

These are some reminders to myself:

Onward to another week full of so many great things to appreciate!
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBC1232 4/22/2013 8:51PM

    Mary-this is fantastic. Just stick with the small changes-you're on your way.

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GETSALONG 4/22/2013 2:28PM

  whew! emoticon you made it over the hurdle, WTG!!! headed there myself! (hugs :)

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HEALTHY4ME 4/22/2013 1:27PM

    I couldn't agree more Mary. I too feel so much better without this stuff no grains, no sugar no dairy for me again. Now that I got my blood work done been week and half without the grain and was always no sugar ( to the best I could with eating grains.sigh) no dairy.
I go to the GP tomorrow for the results of blood test, but no matter what it says, not going back to grain. I also will find out if the entire issue in my foot is arthritis or residual nerve stuff too.
just back from mssage ( myofascial release) for my knee/hamstrings so this and physio will help make my knee stronger for surgery too. Hoping all this comes together and I am in less pain and more mobility.

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KTISFOCUSED 4/22/2013 1:03PM

    I like what you're doing. I'm doing a similar thing in not weighing but I think I need to do what you're doing and start eliminating the sugar and flour again. I too feel so much better about myself, the pressure is off, and I'm looking at how I feel and what I've eaten to determine whether or not I'm a success. Thanks for putting into words what I've been working on. emoticon

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MAZZYR 4/22/2013 10:23AM

    WTG, you're on your way to a healthy lifestyle. You have a plan and you're making mindful choices, it's no wonder that you left your stress behind. I see you getting thinner each and every day. WTG, Mary!! Xoxo

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BUSYBEE37 4/22/2013 9:59AM

    You have a great attitude, keep it up!

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