I gave up many things but in the grand scheme of things, I gave up nothing. Confused? That's ok, I always mean to be confusing :-) so humour me and read to the end. It's possible, I may make just enough sense to hold you interest for a minute longer.
Last week, I was going through a strange and difficult time where I struggled understand or deal with the fact that there are things I cannot do, and foods I cannot eat but worst of all is having to be unable to enjoy the moments I used to enjoy having with my family....like a braai (Americans call it a bbq, I still don't understand why lol). I miss having braaied ribs, meat, corn, and I just miss having braaied everything - and the real problem in this is the quantities. There is no such thing as portion control when having a braai...there's rolls, gravy, salsa, chakalaka (spicy salad), and lots and lots of meat plus a braai is not a braai until there's unbelieveable amounts of alcohol involved.
I haven't had a drink in such a long time... Was it December when I last took a sip of Red Square Black Ice? I think so. It frustrates me to death to know that I have to control portions, count calories, check carbs and substitute things like sugar. When was the time I had real coffee with real sugar and real milk? Granted, it's no ones fault that I took a sudden dislike to milk but I need someone to understand what I'm going through.
Anyways, I read an old blog post of mine and was suddenly over this whole self-pity thing. I remembered that I wasn't normal. I couldn't wake up and decide to have ribs or a burger and fries etc - I went shopping, read every food label before placing the stuff in the basket and I was feeling better by the end of the internal conversations. I just wish it didn't have to be so hard for me to achieve my goals and as much as I want to give up, I can't because I remember how amazing it felt when I wore a pair of slacks and discovered (to my delight) that they were almost falling off. What?!? I could hardly close the button and now I could barely keep them up :-)
I have given up a lot of things and as much as I don't like substituting food with "food that can be less than deadly", I have to make peace with it. While shopping I took a risk and walked down the snack isle and yes, I made eye contact with Chocolate and I was wearing ear plugs to avoid the dramatic hypnotic music... I saw the word "Canderel" written on a this bar of chocolate and I turned it and read it - I was amazed. I bought it, took a piece and didn't enjoy it because in my head it's not as good as the real thing, because what I had with Cadbury was real lol
The Canderel bar wasn't that bad but I'm not going to buy it again... I may have substituted many items but I'd rather not have fake chocolate.
This week, I want to concentrate more on portion control, bread and pastries and batch-cooking. I think I should do better than last week.
Good luck to everyone for this week and may your week's challenges and goals be realised.
Oh, by the way, after shaking the funk off me I unboxed my sewing & overlocker machines and I want to start working on a pattern for a celebratory gift for reaching 100 (still 8.1kg to go). I have several ideas but I'll just put one down and please tell me what you think of the skirt. I'm not sure about the fabrics I'm going to use yet.