Saturday, April 20, 2013
I decided to go back to the basics. I am so over doing it on the whole diet thing. I want to lose weight so bad that I am over restricting to the point of almost binging again. This is causing emotional eating and I am starting to feel the impact of this. I have been doing great as far as no meat, gluten, and dairy and here I am wanting to cry because I had to many carbs on a stress filled day. I went for a walk outside with the baby in his stroller and ran with the horses. I just need to pick myself up and dust myself off. I woke with a headache, I also ran out of milk, and then wasn't able to get food in me until lunch, this created a domino effect. Tomorrow I will start over. I just can't throw in the towel. I think it is also hard to not weigh myself for motivation because I was constantly over analyzing the ups and downs that I kept seeing, I figured if I just stayed off the scale for a while it would help and I could get a realistic view of my efforts, but with the way things are going I might need to weigh in every 2 to 3 weeks after the 12th, just to keep motivated. It is more emotional and hard to focus without weighing myself than it is to weigh myself everyday. Again, maybe I am just over doing the diet and exercise thing. I hate dieting and changing my lifestyle so that I can lose weight. When I stop worrying about the progress I am trying to make I actually lose weight and eat right and feel great, the moment I am feeling the slight shift in depression, hunger, and so on my body goes out of wack and so does my focus.
I am tempted to see my half way weight loss, what a temptation to see how far I have come but I am almost to May 12th. I can do this.