Gratitude and a 'hmmmm' moment...
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Gratitude first, because as my wonderful Dad used to say to me 'give me the good news first, then I'll deal with the other stuff'. Ok, here goes...
So thankful for having been Sparking for a month now without any major (or even minor) binges, feelings of deprivation, helplessness, hopelessness, or thoughts of just giving up because it's all too hard. All these things have been with me whenever I tried to lose weight and improve my health previously. Kudos to Spark People for having made my transformation into healthy eating so simple, so effort free, and so enjoyable. Thanks to all my fellow team members and fellow Sparkies for their encouragement, suggestions and comments. It is great to be part of such a positive community.
I am a far happier, healthier and 4kg. lighter person than I was pre-Spark, and I am now a dedicated 'Sparkie'. Ok, so I didn't lose weight last week... I have managed to alter my body shape, and to firm up some of the previously seldom used muscles. I've also learned that exercise doesn't have to be the traditional kind, that there are so many other ways of having fun and enjoying myself, rather than torturing both my mind and body. I'm sure that if my dogs could talk, they would be thanking Spark People for the walks we now take, and all enjoy.
I am also incredibly thankful to a particular Spark friend who, in the introduction on her Spark Page, wrote about her spiritual beliefs as 'the Love of my Life, my Safe Place and the my Favorite Person to spend time with.' I read those words and realized that my life has somehow gradually crowded out God, and the time I spend with Him. It took about three weeks for me to accept that this was the reason I wasn't as content with my life as I used to be, so I've taken steps to remedy it, which is why I haven't been as active online as I was previously.
I know I have written before about the things Spark People has taught me, reminded me of, motivated me to do, but never in my wildest dreams, would I have imagined it would have brought me back to God!
And now for the 'hmmm' moment. A friend and I went out of town shopping the other day, and I was telling her I needed new underwear in a smaller size when we were discussing what we needed to buy. She looked at me and said 'yes, I had noticed you had lost weight', for which I was about to thank her. That was till she followed it up with 'because your face is starting to look saggy, almost like you have too much skin now the fat is disappearing from underneath it'. She followed it up with 'I think you looked much better before, really.'
Did I feel hurt? No. Did I tell her I was healthier and happier than I'd been in a long time and more mobile than I have been in the past 6 months? No. I burst out laughing! I know she meant well, that she would be the last person to even accidentally hurt my feelings. It was that moment when I thought - I'm enjoying being healthy, and if that means I'm going to gain a few saggy bits, then so be it, because the rest of me is feeling great!
That was the moment when I realized that somehow my entire outlook on 'dieting' has changed completely. I am probably eating more now than before I began Sparking, but now the foods are not filled with sugar, unhealthy fats, more artificial ingredients than natural ones, and so on. My attitude to food has changed, not just for a while, but for all time, God willing.