Nine days since my last blog. Six of those days were a major backslide. My weight ballooned up to 199.2! I gained 6.6 lbs in six days. So, that was my morning weight on Thursday, the 18th. That day, I spent the morning at home. I had some flex time due from work and decided to take it that morning and work on my psyche and get myself back on track. I weighed in, had a light breakfast, recorded it, took my bath, downloaded a book from the Kindle Store and began reading. Reading really works for me when I need focus and direction.
The book I downloaded was "Weight Loss for People Who Feel Too Much." I do feel things very deeply and very easily. And trying to cope with those feelings is where a lot of my eating problems come from. So, I was hopeful this book would understand that and speak to it. It kind of does but kind of not. I am getting some good information from it...but it's not 100% applicable for me. So, I'm getting what I can from it and not worrying about the stuff that doesn't fit me.
One thing that I like that I've read from it is every meal has a beginning, middle, and ending. I know this sounds elementary. But for me...it was an aha. I tend to be a grazer...and my binge eating is my big problem...and obviously, with binge eating, there is no "ending" and so the binge takes place. So, now, when I sit down to eat...I look at the meal as having the beginning, middle, and ending. I consciously think to myself, this is the beginning...when I am deciding what to eat and preparing it and sitting down to begin. When I am eating, I consciously think to myself...this is the middle...and I eat my meal. When the plate is empty and I am done, I think consciously...this is the end. So, instead of thinking, what else would I like? Or, I could have just a little this or that afterwards, I am putting my mind into different directions...because the eating time has ended...over...done.
I've had three days now back in range, beginning and ending each meal consciously, and recording each meal. My weight has dropped back down to 194.4 as of this morning. My goal for April is to continue this conscious eating...with beginning, middle, and end...recording each meal and staying in range...with no binges. I would love to be out of the 190's by the end of April...but that will be difficult at this point...but I'm going to make as much progress toward that end as possible.
The other thing that the book talks about that I have embraced is EFT and positive affirmations. EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. It is an instruction in releasing your "chi" when you are having a stress response to life's challenges. You do a tapping response in different pressure points to relieve your negative feelings. With each pressure point that you tap out, you repeat to yourself a positive affirmation.
You tap using your forefinger and middle finger at these points: middle of forehead, right eyebrow, left eyebrown, right cheek, left cheek, under nose/above lip, chin, heart, collarbone to the right of your heart, collarbone to the left of your heart, right side (under arm, mid-way between arm pit and waist), left side (under arm, mid-way between arm pit and waist), right hand (on the karate chop side of your hand), left hand (on the karate chop side of your hand).
An example of an affirmation you might state (I used this one on Thursday when my weight was up), "No matter that my weight is up to 199.2, I deeply love and respect myself." My affirmations have been similar to this when I need one. First, I state "No matter that ______(current negative stressor), I deeply love and respect myself." This is what I need to hear, do, and believe. Life knocks me down. And when it does, I have comforted myself with food. If I'm not going to do that, I need to have a defense to turn to when I'm feeling attacked or drained or stressed or down. This is working.
When you are in a public situation, you can do just one of the hand tappings so that no one notices and questions what you are doing. You can just do the affirmations in your head.
So, even though this book is a little different than what I was looking for, it has given me some good advice that I've been using and which is working to help me stay on track. I think, for me, it's imperative that I continue reading different things as I journey on. None of the writings are going to be 100% what I need. But I can reap what I need and leave the rest. I can pick out what is pertinent for me...and use it. It will help me to renew my mind and thoughts as I journey on.
Hope you all are doing well. Keep up the good work! Thanks for the encouragement! Spark on!
1. Get below 190...Progress - at 194.4
With 13 days remaining...as of 4/18
2. Complete the remainder of April with no binge eating...3/13
3. Eat in range each day for the remainder of April...3/13
4. Record each day for the remainder of April...3/13
5. Read each day for the remainder of April...3/13
Picture of the day...
We discovered baby bunnies in our backyard! We put up a little fence around their nest so Mia cannot get to them. I hope they survive.