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    DEVOUEE40   2,196
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Feeling Lonely

Saturday, April 20, 2013


I think I'm noticing the pattern
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DEVOUEE40 4/22/2013 12:54AM

    Thank you all for your suggestions! I have been trying really hard to find some solutions so this weekend I found a meetup group called Curvy Girls Fitness Club. I joined them this morning for a run walk at the lake front. I really enjoyed the time with them and decided I will do more activities with them. This Friday evening, we are planning to run the stairs at a nearby forest preserve. I also took my dog for a really long walk today and he is now laying on my feet happy and tired. Yesterday I took my god daughter to the children's museum and we spent the afternoon playing there. Now, I writing out some goals and plans for the week. I hope having a plan helps some. Thank you so much for the ideas and encouragement.

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RAWCOOKIE 4/20/2013 5:00PM

    I can't add much to those three comments below - all good suggestions.
When we feel depressed, we become focused on ourselves - that's just how it works. Every effort you make to focus on something outside of yourself can shift your mood just a little. For example, you have a dog. You could, for example, decide you will take your dog for a walk twice a day - and know that you are taking action to be fitter, to be off the couch, and to be part of the community. Dogs are great aids to connection - people (in the UK anyway) often talk to the dog first - and that leads to a conversation with the person!

What are you crocheting at the moment - tell us about your craft projects :D

Comment edited on: 4/20/2013 5:02:00 PM

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STR458 4/20/2013 3:19PM

    I break the day/night into 2 to 4 hour segments... I thought I was lonely and started to ask myself- would this segment be any better with a companion/boyfriend/company
and I always came up with the same answer--not really emoticon

if I am bored with someone else that's a thousand times worse than being bored alone

the other thing is I get tired of my own mind too- moods pass
interests change, life changes over the week nights and yours will too... distraction and relief will come and go.... you'll make your way the way you like it- now included-

last but not least I leave you with this comment: necessity is the mother of ingenuity


Comment edited on: 4/20/2013 3:20:58 PM

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LAST20FORME 4/20/2013 9:33AM

    Last week Spark had an article that shows you how one can search for people by age or interest in your town . You can easily search for people your age from your zip code area who are also runners and may even be signed up for the same marathon you are signed up for. You just need to reach out to them and ask them if they want to meet in real life, run together and have lunch out after. You have running in common and Spark and the same age so that is a good start to see if there is a connection for a friendship.

I read your page and it says you will be in grad school soon. I'm sure you will meet people there with your same interest. I think most colleges have free or low cost counseling. I think talking to a professional about your depression is a good idea.

You have some great things going on in your life. Starting grad school, doing a marathon. As a person you have drive and ambition, the kind of people I like as friends, so what I am saying is don't forget he good things about yourself and just go out there and open yourself to the world.
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LITTLEIM 4/20/2013 4:44AM

    Weekends are hard because they are held within our collective imaginations as 'FUN!' and so we feel somehow inadequate when we don't spend weekends partying and doing exciting things. However, most of us really don't have that kind of weekend. I'm 36 and I just don't have the energy to go out that much anymore. You need to stop expecting your friday night to be like it is in films and TV.

That said, I think you should see if there is a class (sports or something creative) that you could go to - either on a friday evening or a saturday morning. This would give you something to look forward to and you would meet people. If you choose something you would really like to try then you'll meet people you already have something in common with. Maybe one of them will become a good friend, someone you can do the 13 mile walk with. Is there anything where you live that offers this kind of thing?

Lastly, you will find people on SP who can provide a virtual friend network. People here are genuinely supportive and kind.

I'd like to be a Sparkfriend so I'm going to send you a request. Then you'll have made one new friend without really trying at all. All it took was opening your heart and sharing who you are.
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