Friday, April 19, 2013
Today was a better day than the last few have been. I made it to water aerobics for the third day this week, my hair looked good today because of the hair cut I got yesterday, I wrote some checks to pay some bills, played a few games on FB, picked up my grandboy and we walked up the street to get his hair cut then took a long route back to my house. He played here for a while then I took him back to the sitter's house.
I love that little boy so very much. I have loved him from before he was born and special needs and all I love him more each day. Some days are difficult but last night when I had him and his sister they were wonderful, so very wonderful, and this afternoon he was just as wonderful. He challanges me and that is good because it is in thinking that he challanges me. I have to figure out ways to get him to make the decisions that he needs to make. it isn't always going to work to give him a choice of say a red or a blue something because he will often say I" I don't want either. I want purple' and reasoning with him rarely works. I have to think differently as he isn't disabled he is just differently abled.
I did have a teary time today and again tonight but I think that is normal on this journey that I didn't chose to make. At least it wasn't like yesterday when I cried so hard that my shirt front was wet. I even laughed some today.
I laughed when the cat sat outside the shower while I was in the shower and had her ears back and looked like she couldn't figure out why anyone would get into a box and turn on the rain. I laughed when I put an ice cube in her metal water dish and she was perplexed by the solid water that clinked on the sides when she pushed it, I laughed when Keegan told me a funny joke, I laughed when my daughter was telling funny stories tonight while at dinner celebrating some friends' birthdays.
Now I am going to take a half a xanax and go to bed and fall asleep listening to the rain on the windows.
Lord, you have gotten me through another day , a lonely day at times, but the end of it is near. Thank you for the sun earlier, for the rain now, for my daughters and grandchildren. Lord, thank you for friends who include me even though I am no longer part of a couple. Thank you for my part time/temporary job that gets me out and puts a few extra dollars in my pocket so that I am amply funded and well provided for. Thank you Lord for all the many wonderful years Ed and I had together even though it makes going the rest of the journey of life alone difficult I am so thankful that we had as many as we did. Thank you for the love we had for one another. Lord, thank you also for the VMI graduate who is hospitalized in boston and I ask that you heal him and bless him and his family and I ask that you comfort the family of the officer killed. They were both working to protect citizens and capture evil. Amen