Friday, April 19, 2013
A very bad day indeed. I had breakfast at a restaurant. Things always fall apart for me there. I eat too much and then feel guilty for the rest of the day. I tried to not eat anything else for the rest of the day, to try and make up for the breakfast, but it was too difficult. I had a veggie sandwich on flat bread with guacamole. I feel awful. My weigh-in is on Sunday and I will still be bloated when I step on the scale. This is exactly how I always fail. I just eat and everything falls apart. I want to cry but I'm so tired of crying over my weight. I've cried weekly since signing up for this stupid website. The only way I feel like I can lose wight is to have all the food taken out of my apartment and then only occasionally given to me in tiny amounts for my meals. Just like a pet. I have no control. I feel like after 1 year and 4 months of entering in my food, I am just tired of it. I'm tired of this website. I'm tired of writing down everything I eat. I'm tired of feeling guilty about meals. I'm tired of measuring and calculating. I just want to eat something, feel full, then stop eating, then lose these last 25 pounds. I hate being this frustrated.