Friday, April 19, 2013
I am heavier now than I was when I started this SP journey. This is just so strange to me.
I am restarting EVERY day. Why is this so?
I feel it may have something to do with protection. I have two men in my life I feel emotional attachment to. I (in my awesome over-analysing way) have decided I am purposefully (subconsciously) overeating to make myself unattractive to either so I don't need to deal with the decisions that need to be made.
Argghhh I can't believe I just confessed that! I have also been drinking more alcohol which in turn leads me to eat more (because I'm old and get sick!) and this is just calorie overload on repeat.
So what should I do? I know technically what I should be doing but for now I log in to SP everyday, track everything (food and exercise), and start fresh everyday. I FEEL like I know nothing about weight loss or how to stop myself overeating and lazing about pretending life is as simple as pulling up the covers and watching movies all day.
I also have 3 mid-sessionals and an essay due all before 10 May.
I just want to feel normal.