I know other spark friends are in even worse situations! My heart goes out to you. I feel ridiculous complaining when I hear of your stories! Bless you! I know many caregivers die before the patient! I say prayers for each of you that I know.
Home seems the best place for my DH after his stroke. He does not need a skilled nursing facility at this time. And I'd like him to be home. Of course he wants to be at home.
I know I need maybe 3 (not paid by me) visits from a health aide each week to help me care for my husband. I don't think that is too much to ask for.
I, myself, pay an aide 6 times a week to bathe him, dress him, transfer him into a motorized wheelchair, give him breakfast, and throw in a wash load. And I just added paying an aide one night a week to do the reverse. (not a meal of course) He has become BM incontinent recently.
Recently he did get some paid help from Medicare. But it ends after 3 weeks.
They in fact sent way too much help!
a nurse @$180/visit.--once a week for 3 weeks (DH has a couple of minor medical problems)
a social worker-once- @$190/visit--nothing resulted from this because my assets are to high. I knew that before the Social Worker came.
OT @ $150.00 /visit once a week for 3 weeks probably
PT @ $150/visit once a week for 3 weeks probably
health aide $57/hr. 3X a week for 3 weeks probably (but once she was very late and once she was a no show)
The PT told me today he does not need a PT continuing.The reason is because anyone can do the exercises with him. I agree with her. But..... I am here alone. It is impossible for me to do this and all the other responsibilities I have.
IF.... he continues PT or the nurse, we can have the aide for more weeks.
Duh! Right, he doesn't need the higher paid people but he does need lots and lots of daily care! I am the only one to do it or to pay people. My huge pile of assets will be gone quickly if I have to pay for all the help he needs.
This makes no sense to me. I will pay for some of the aides myself but I need someone to kick in and add money for more aides. The very expensive nurse, social worker, PT and OT aren't needed continually! It is quite obvious all those professionals with high fees aren't needed right now.
It is very frustrating. Oh--and the above 3 or so weeks happened because he turned 65. For the past 6 years there was almost no help at all. (They did, of course, help when DH first came home after his stroke seven years ago. ) His stroke happened when he was 59.