Spark People just happened to “spark” for me. I’ve tried everything through the years. Nothing worked because of a combination of my resistance and my reluctance to engage with people. I believed that I needed “food as tranquilizer” to get my through the travails of everyday life.
I had an eating problem before I had a weight problem. I thought about food a lot. I punished myself for indulging in a dessert not by a logical attempt to work out but by taking little fasts. I read diet books perhaps in the way some teen-aged boys seek out porn. I looked at anorexic people and mostly, I regret to say, admired their discipline and tenacity. How crazy is that?
I was perpetually on a diet in an effort to move from 125 or 130, the normal range of my weight, down to 100 or 105.
But I did, finally, become obese. I think that insufficient time for myself was one reason but the greater reason was my failure to see that I needed more time for myself. I fell into obesity almost with a sense of relief. I now had proof that my self-loathing was totally justified.
I tried Weight Watchers and was put off by the cheerfulness of the leaders. I tried exercise classes but I could not keep up with the youthful steppers and striders. I sought, in vain, for “Fatercize” classes. When I dedicated myself to “Sparking” it made complete sense to me. By that time I knew that I was introverted and had to do things quietly and cautiously. I knew that there were some foods that I could never eat (tofu, margarine, yoghurt for example). And I knew that I had to start a serious exercise program.
Then I found the BLC on Spark—the Biggest Loser Challenge. I signed up and did not really know what to expect. It was perfect for me in many ways. I could have friendship and accountability without having to talk to anyone. I could learn new ways of strength training and toning. I could “compete” in a friendly way. And I love that kind of competition where I am not being fierce or unfriendly but just trying to beat my own personal best. For me, that’s not enough. I do not (yet) have enough self-regard to maintain a regimen just for me.
The BLC is perfect because I can compete with a team and for a team and support the team. It makes me want to do my best. Yet it also makes me feel proud of other teams who do well. I get enthralled with their excitement too.
I lost a fair amount of weight in my first two rounds of the BLC (Thank you Shamrock Sheriffs!).
This time round I did not lose as much weight at all but I hit two major goals that I had not thought possible before: I made it to “One-Der-Land” (meaning that I weigh less than 200 pounds) and my clothing suddenly got loose! I hope I never have to buy plus sized clothing again. A year ago I routinely wore a size 3X and now I wear clothing marked “L” or “XL”. I now buy my underwear in the “regular” part of the store, not in the “Plus” Sized part of the store. So BLC-21 (Thank you Violet Venuses) was the one where I found myself wearing clothing easily that would not budge over my ample chest just a few months ago!
Thank you, BLC, and all of the people who work so hard to make it all possible!