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TIDESONG
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Thoughts on being in ONEderland (254 days now!)

Friday, April 19, 2013

I can't believe how long I've been in ONEderland now. I hit it on August 9 of last year, and I haven't gone back above 200 since. Another friend of mine counts the number of days she's been in ONEderland. I haven't done that yet. But I just did, and it's been 254 days of being in ONEderland. It boggles my mind to think that hey, I'm actually doing this.

I have to catch myself not to start with a "two" when asked my weight at the doctor's office (if they don't have a scale themselves).

I have to stop myself from automatically going to the plus size section of clothing departments...and then when I'm in regular misses clothing, not going for an XL. Or even a L at this point. It feels odd. It feels not me.

But it *is* me. I wish I could kick that "fat girl staring back at me in the mirror" problem I have, because that's now who I am anymore. But it's still hard to shake that....

I'm hoping it'll just be a matter of time, patience, and love for myself....
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