Friday, April 19, 2013
I continue to be impressed with the amazing variety of journeys we all share on SP. I admire (and occasionally envy ...) the courage and determination of many members. I am so inspired by the stories that never fail to re-mobilize me when I am struggling.
That does not mean all I gotta do is read an inspiring blog and - POOF! - I am back on track perfectly again. By no means does it mean that. What it seems to be doing, as I round the third corner moving toward 2 years here, is that I keep coming back; I renew my determination to NEVER QUIT so that I will be exposed over and over to all this inspiration and wisdom and determination, knowing it will re-Spark me even if I am in the middle of a long "lapse".
I wish sort of lamely that the re-Sparking process wouldn't "wear off". I am proving to be a "lapser", repeating cycles of effort and consistency then cycles of struggling, lapsing and "beating myself up" until I realize I must return to program in order to be at peace with myself.
The difference between these cycles and the way I was before Spark People is that these cycles are shorter; I stay connected to the SP Community and am much less negative about the lapse before I return to a consistent food program.
I know that in order for that re-Sparking to NOT "wear off", I must keep on mobilizing my intent. I really don't know what that is like! I have not been there in my whole life! Got some new territory to seek, new habits to try to shape. Hmmm ...
The road winds ever onward ...