Friday, April 19, 2013
Can it really be nearly two years since my last post? Yikes! I have been seriously neglecting this blog but that just goes along with what I have to say in the first place.
I am basically unemployed and living on my retirement savings and God's grace. I lost the bulk of my full-time job over 5 years ago and have been in this condition since my unemployment ran out. I have no health insurance, no 401k, just what I scraped together during better times and my all-sufficient God.
Last year I finally got a job. I was overjoyed! Unfortunately, my new boss complained constantly about the cough caused by my blood pressure medication. After he met with someone on the same medication with the same problem, he stopped complaining. A couple of weeks later, he let me go, saying it wasn't working out. I asked why and he said I was too forgetful. Now, if that were true, I obviously wouldn't remember because I was too forgetful. On the other hand, it could have been the cough. In any case, it was devastating.
I withdrew from friends and activities and prayed and asked others to pray. I also went back to my old overeating habits, made worse by the fact that I was now overeating meat since I was no longer allowed to eat whole grains. Not only that, but my housekeeping, which was never great, went completely off the rails. And when one is in a state like that, one never asks for help. It's too painful and it's too embarrassing. Only God can reach someone who isn't reaching out.
And that's where things stood for a year. A year in which I didn't have a single job interview or see my kids a single time (not by my choice) or lose a single pound of weight. A year in which I had repeated car trouble stemming from a problem they finally found after six years of treating the symptoms. A year in which I hardly exercised at all. A rough year, indeed.
So, three weeks ago I had another job interview. They told me it was between me and another woman and they were only interviewing her as a favor to someone. They wanted to hire within three weeks and wanted to give me time to give my current employer (such as he is) sufficient notice. I told God I didn't want them even to offer me the job if it wasn't the one He wanted for me. And guess what? They haven't called. I called and left a message last week and no one responded. And this time, instead of going into a tailspin, I actually took positive steps.
I cleaned out my refrigerator. I made additions to my Scripture board on Pinterest. I reorganized my water kefir "station". (It wants to take over my kitchen, so I need to give it a "station". I have friends who have actually expressed concern that it might try to eat me during the night.) I started eating a tiny bit of what I wanted to eat instead of suffering through months of cravings. And I thanked God for His faithfulness.
My house is still a wreck. My finances are not a subject I can even discuss. But I've lost two pounds and the joy of the Lord is my strength.