Loss of control..
Friday, April 19, 2013
Okay. The last two weeks have not been shining moments for me. Too many days last week involved me eating a lot of bad food. I started over this week, but then ate bad on Wednesday, and literally ate all day yesterday (and skipped the gym, uggggh). I know the culprit is PMS, I just don't know how to get around it. Around that time, my brain hard wires itself to want nothing but sleep (I'm exhausted during that time) and bad food, the junkier the better! Yesterday I'm pretty certain that not a minute went by that I wasn't munching on something, I just kept getting up and grabbing more stuff to put in my mouth. I don't know why I kept doing it, because I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't stop! It's like I was a woman possessed! Now today I feel like I'm pregnant with a food baby. My stomach is bloated and sticking out, my hands feel swollen, and I'm really run down and tired. I can't keep doing this! I feel disgusting, and I'm being very counter active to the weight loss aspect! Please send prayers and support my way, I have got to get this under control so I can start losing weight again, I started again today, hopefully I don't fall again tonight.
In happier news, I found out last night that the wonderful John Barrowman is going to be at the Phoenix comicon next month (I'm a nerd, shut up). Me and my friend started squealing and hugging each other cause we looooove him. It's $45 for a photo op with him, and I'm most likely gonna pay for it. I mean, a picture with Captain Jack Harkness? PLEASE! The only thing I'm worried about is that I'm gonna look at it and be disgusting with what I see (in myself of course, not his lovely face). I keep ridiculing myself about how if I hadn't messed up last year, I would've been at goal weight long time ago and I would look awesome when I went and blah blah blah... My negative self talk lately has been through the roof. I can't seem to stop it from coming out of my mouth. Like word vomit.
Happy sparking everyone.. Send thoughts my way that I can regain control.