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Raving mad

Friday, April 19, 2013

held hostage by JABBA... basically a two days binge.... feel awful. Literally binged myself sick!!! Feel afraid what tomorrow will bring. While travelling up to Perth for a couple days, choices will be taken out of my hand, yet there won't be a fridge to raid. Won't bring anything worth raiding myself... apart from the boy's snack boxes which are packed already and I'll hand them over to them as soon as we're in the car.
Feel utterly ashamed and a fraud. All the progress and things learned over the last 4 weeks utterly forgotten. HOW stupid can you get?? Ou well, I will get up tomorrow and face the monster and fight back once again, even though right now I just want to hid under my blanket and eat some more chocolate, even though I feel literally sick already. So, tomorrow will be a new "day 1" once again. But dang, it doesn't matter how many million day ones there are, it matters to go on fighting!! I might be defeated in this one battle, but there's a war out there!!! And there were many battles won over the past 3 1/2 months!!!! I might have been a "up-giverer" in the past but, dang, I ain't no givin up now. My chances for success are below zero for the next couple of days (being out of my own waters and start of holidays and all), but DANG, I can't make that thought just make me give up without even trying!!! So I will stop eating now. As in right NOW!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • APED7969
    Don't beat yourself up, it happens to the best of us! emoticon
    1795 days ago
    1795 days ago
    just start again emoticon
    1795 days ago
    There is some good in chocolate you know. The fun is trying to figure out which thing of chocolate your body was craving (other than the yummy goodness! oh my, I shouldn't cheerlead for such blatantly wonderful decadence...) Perhaps if you kept a supply of fresh spinach on hand, it might at least sate the binge for the readily available iron....(odd how our bodies prefer chocolate..and might it have vitamin e and certain fats and carbs you longed for..) You are not a failure, you are not a backslider, you were just enhancing your learning on the journey! Good for you! And so you shall exercise how many hours this evening? Not walking about the hills of Perth were you? Not a lost day at all.... emoticon emoticon
    1795 days ago
  • RDEE22
    Dust yourself off and get into it again. You can do it!!!! emoticon
    1795 days ago
    Just get right back on the horse. Nobody is perfect, but you can start again! You will be okay - you've already proven these past few months that you can do it. All is not lost. Keep your chin up!
    1795 days ago
    good for you.
    1796 days ago
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