Thursday, April 18, 2013
Wow. I've only been back three days and I got picked as a motivator? How did that happen?? How very humbling!! I don't know how I can motivate anyone when I soooo don't have my act together! I had to make a mad-scramble to update my spark-page when I realized everything on it was more than 2 years old and completely irrelevent... heh, I was even still introducing myself as a "divorced single mom of two"!
Updating my page also made me realize that I have no goals, and no program. Just this vague notion that I want to "get healthy" so that God-willing I can be around to see my kids grow into adults, and maybe spoil some grandkids some day.
Despite the fact that I've lost 100+ lbs, I am not very fit. In fact, I think I was stronger at 300+ lbs when I was taking karate classes and swimming and hiking and belly dancing and doing push-ups and crunches and squats like a mad woman. I haven't done ANY deliberate exercise since I got married and moved up-country. I am very busy with my daily chores and I walk a lot, but I do not feel strong. Walking up a hill or climbing a set of stairs leaves me winded and sweaty. I feel very unbalanced - as though I haven't quite found my new center of gravity. And I'm stiff... my range-of-motion is pretty limited and I have no flexibility. If I do any heavy lifting, my arms feel like jello. I'm actually much more concerned with my fitness level than I am with the number on the scales. I'm content to let my body dictate the "right" weight for me. I know I will never fit in those stupid height/weight charts, or even the BMI index. I am a big-boned, big breasted, heavily muscled woman. 130 lbs ain't gonna happen. When I was at 185 I still had a lot of flab. I also have a lot of loose, sagging skin. I think 170 might be a good weight for me, if I have built up good muscle tone.