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    CONFUSEDBIRD   78,756
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The "right" feeling

Thursday, April 18, 2013

I went for my job shadow yesterday to see if I was into the job photographing babies. I was so excited about it for days. She told me think about it and email her if I am still interested. There would be some competition getting it, if I did want it. But now after the fact, I am having panic feelings. I didn't sleep well last night thinking about this. Right now I just really want a stepping stone and I am not sure this is a stepping stone. I gotta keep thinking, I am not sure why I am so scared. Or if I am supposed to just keep waiting for something else. I donno what to do. The job was neat to watch. U go in and photograph babies 12 hrs after vaginal birth and 24 hrs after c-section. The parents look so flustered and confused and have no idea how to touch the baby yet. I asked about stillbirths too, cuz I donno how I would deal with that. It is definitively possibility that happens and the parents get a free shoot and cd. I guess I will just give it a few more days and give it some good thought.

I felt sick all day yesterday. For some reason I still went to my dance class and felt like I was cold sweating lol stupid! I seriously believe tho when your sick, the best way to feel better is sweat and just get those crappy toxins out of u. Lay in bed and watch tv, nahhhhh! I do need to calm down though and take it easy. I was on my steroids for over a week cuz my arthritis was acting up. It was but I think I was doing too much as well to make it flare up. I have been calming down the past 2-3 days and I haven't needed the meds. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy.

Been staying in my calories the past 3 days. I am trying to go back to basics again. Allow myself two days where if I am over my calories, that is ok (friday and saturday)! Then the other 5 days, your in your calories no if ands or buts about it. I was doing so good there for a bit staying under 157-158. My body just seems to like what it likes and it likes being at 160 no matter what I do. I gave up my running counter for the year. I don't plan on running too much this year. 1-2 days a week for pleasure and therapy sounds right up my alley.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
EDDYMEESE 4/22/2013 12:03AM

    Taking a big step like that can be scary, but think about where it might lead you. Is it going to lead you toward professional photography? If the answer is yes, then I'd go for it. If it doesn't seem like it will lead you there, don't do it because you may miss other opportunities.

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MORTICIAADDAMS 4/19/2013 10:56PM

    I hope that the answer about the job comes to you. I have been through it. It's hard to know the right thing to do.

My arthritis has been really bad this spring too which is unusual for me. I don't know why. Maybe the weather.

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PHEBESS 4/18/2013 9:24PM

    I agree with ArcticLily - it would be difficult to do long-term, and very emotional. Only you know whether you can handle that (or even want to). At times it would be uplifting and wonderful. Other times totally depressing. Difficult decision to make.

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SEAWILLOW 4/18/2013 10:34AM

    Pray, meditate about it, then let it go.

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LOLEMA 4/18/2013 8:58AM

  As a freelance, self taught photographer I would look for something else.

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ARTICLILY 4/18/2013 8:55AM

    Wow I give you all the credit if you can do that form of photography. I am a nurse and did one rotation in peds/ob/nicu and couldn't do it. You have to find what feels right for you. For me thats nature photography. Gives me inner peace and a sense of accomplishment. Good luck..

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