dealing with loss.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
*Disclaimer- this blog is not necessarily focused on my weight loss journey. I wrote this because I believe that other people do/have felt this way and that should be something our society is able to talk honestly about *
Lately, getting up in the morning has become hard. I want so badly to have a happy post about how positive things are going but if I did that would not be the truth. Last weekend my world was rocked by two major events- the death of an ex-boyfriend in a horrific car accident (at the age of 23.) We ended things (badly) a little under a year ago. I have since seen him a few times- but I have guilt about the way things ended... and I am horrified by the news article and pictures I saw while I was simply doing an internet search to see why my friend was stuck in traffic so long. I can't get the images out of my head and it has been hard for me to focus.
Also, I unfortunately almost ended an extremely important relationship in my life because of their continued alcohol abuse. I won't delve into that too much- other than to say that I am listening to my heart and my counselors' and mother's advice above all else. I believe that things can and will get better but the thought of losing that person as well is weighing on my heart.
I had my dietitian appointment earlier today- and I almost broke down. I explained to her my struggle to focus on my eating and exercise when just getting to class has been hard. She asked me if I have been coping by restricting or binging- which I have not (in part because that requires energy that I don't have!) I feel an intense loss and lack of control of my own life. Her advice was to make sure that I was meeting my nutritional needs but not to add focusing on weight loss to my plate but rather take one day at a time. What do you think? How do you handle a major life event and balance your health? I feel like this trips up a lot of people and that being able to handle huge good and bad life events is one of the keys to long term weight loss. So maybe this horrible experience can help me learn skills that will help me cope in the future. Feel free to let me know what you think.
Having said all this, I will be back with a vengeance. Life can't keep me down for long.