A Little of This - A Little of That!!!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Dear Friends....

First, I want to extend my sincerest and most heartfelt well-wishes to all from the Boston area. I'm still trying to digest this latest assault on our citizens and on our country. For those who lost their lives and /or who were so gravely injured - I can't adequately express my sorrow. This never makes sense - so I've stopped trying - it's just another attack on my consciousness. I love Boston - and I know they will rally - just as we in NYC did after 9/11. A tragedy like this brings out the best in human nature, as we have seen.

I've been away from Sparking for a while. As I described in my last blog - pain and more pain. I did see a knee surgeon - a good one - who confirmed my suspicions that I needed two total knee other treatment would really help the pain long term.
The complication is my history of blood clots. This past weekend, I had a pain in my 'bad' leg so intense - that I was positive I had another clot. After spending 7 hours in the ER - (my doc was away) ..... the tests showed no NEW clots - but I have several 'old' clots up and down my leg....blocking the blood flow in the way a dam blocks a river. Ergo --- the pain and swelling in my leg which comes and goes on a regular basis. This won't ever get better....
Bottom line --- the surgeon will only operate if I get vascular clearance.....and this new news (old clots), leads me to believe that new knees are not in my future. And all the rest of my painful issues..........
I'm trying to spin this in my mind - and sort it all out.....what the future holds, how much pain I can reasonably handle etc. etc. And then there's the inflammatory pain everywhere else! So....I haven't been feeling very social... or hungry.

You'd think the scale needle would go down - but - NO....and that's very frustrating. I must lose weight and just can't. I'm not eating badly - I'm close to conquering my night eating problems - but the weight is just cemented to my bones!!! I can't motivate myself to do chair exercises - or lift weights - or anything! I'm trying so hard to think positively - But right now, I'm thinking of myself as a sick person.

I need to change this loop in my brain - from thinking of myself as a sick person - to thinking of myself as a person with challenges. Challenges that can be managed! This is what I'm trying so hard to do. But first I have to face the realities of my life --- and that they are here to stay. The rest is in my hands.

I think I need a very qualified holistic doctor ---- to review my very complicated situation ----- and to develop a program for me to follow that is realistic; food-wise and exercise-wise.
Does anyone know of such a doctor in NYC that you feel confident enough to recommend?? Please shoot me a SpMail.....if you do.

I'm trying to stay involved with the Sparks community as best I can for now..... For everyone who is having success - congrats!!! For everyone still struggling -- you have my empathy.

Hope to be back in fighting form very soon.
Love and hugs to all.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MRSGOAT9699
    So sorry about your knees, Libby. I really wish your pain would disappear. I hope you can get some relief soon. Hang in there. emoticon
    1787 days ago
    I wish you lived where I do, we have an awesome holistic Dr but that wont help you. Hopefully you find one and he can figure it out and get you back on the road to recovery. Either way, dont lose your joy and love of life.
    1794 days ago
    So sorry to hear the pain continues and about the blood clots. That's just scary. I'm sorry also that the knee replacement probably won't happen anytime soon. I think it's a good idea to find a holistic doctor, though I can't help with that.

    With the exercise, just do a few exercises at a time -- I know when you don't feel good it's hard, but you'll feel a little better if you do, not just mentally but physically. And, alas, sometimes too little food isn't good for use either.

    Will keep my fingers crossed that it improves...
    1794 days ago
    I'm so glad you're still here with us Libby. I can't imagine all you're going through and still remaining so positive, but that shows what a strong woman you are. I truly hope you're able to find a good holistic doctor who can provide you with the help you need. Also hope you can get the go ahead to have your knee replacements so that you and Lucy can get back out for your walks and enjoy your lives the way you deserve. Please keep us updated on how things are going.

    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

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    1795 days ago
  • MARYANN2323
    You will be Hon! You have a strength deep inside of you that will carry you to brighter days.
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    1795 days ago
    It is so good to hear from you again! I go to your page and check on you from time to time. We've missed you! I will praying that you find a good doctor that can help you with your pain and health issues! I'm sure New York has some awesome holistic docs to chose from!
    1795 days ago
  • KAYDE53
    That's a lot of issues to deal with; but good for you for keeping a positive attitude. I certainly hope someone can help you find a holistic doc to help you. It would be great if you could have your knees replaced; it would go a long way in reducing pain & increasing activity, which, I would think would help with blood clots. I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers!! emoticon
    1795 days ago
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