Wednesday, April 17, 2013
I know for the past month I've been overeating. I know I underate for the past few days. I know I need the energy to run 4 miles tomorrow morning, so I forced myself to eat some quinoa salad that I made the other day (so I'd have the protein and the energy!). But right now? I REALLY want some cake or some ice cream (no, not really, I just want the cake, a chocolate cake or chocolate frosting, or chocolate chip cookies, but NOT dark chocolate- shocker!). But AHH! I feel like I'm going crazy. The urge is just SO strong, SO powerful, I'm SO anxious, SO overwhelmed, SO AHHHHHH. Writing is just making it worse. Ugh. I'm so tempted to drive to the store (slightly tipsy) to get a piece of peanut butter chocolate cake. Or break into my friend's store of chocolate covered matzoah that I've gotten for him since it was on sale and their store doesn't cary it. BLAH! So annoyed. I can't figure this out. How are you suppose to figure out two sides of yourself fighting? You don't. You dissociate and give into that urge. That's pretty much it.