Tuesday, April 16, 2013
I've had some ups and downs. Poor planning mostly. Always a downfall of mine. I think it's nearly impossible to do this perfectly when I'm trying to be this strict with everything I have going on in life - especially with me being as much of a food addict as I am.
So I blew it several times this weekend. And then got back on track yesterday. And then I had some junk in a goody bag we got at school today. I'm trying not to let it throw me off completely. I did go to Zumba last night, so that's something. It's the first time I worked out in I don't even know how long. Awhile. I really didn't want to do it but I did. I probably won't do anything tonight though. We'll see but I doubt it. There is a mountain of laundry with my name on it.
Some friends and I played whiffle ball on Saturday. I'm shocked at how out of shape I got so quickly! I was struggling to run around the bases. Really struggling. It was uncomfortable. That's really disappointing.
I'm still really struggling with tiredness but I haven't been able to stay on the plan long enough to see if it helps. This is a really common theme with me. I think 5 days is just about the longest I can make it without eating something I don't want to be eating. I wish I knew how to stop wanting bad stuff. I thought I had a breakthrough with learning how bad processed food is. It's helped for sure. I have to remember what I was like before. But I still crave it. And if I give in and eat something, the cravings are so much worse and I have such a hard time getting control again. Why can't I be satisfied with healthy wholesome food? That's the person I want to be. I keep thinking if I can stay away from the bad stuff long enough and keep eating the good stuff, I'll get over my addictions. But so far I can't stay on track long enough to see if that's true or not. It's pretty discouraging.
Not giving up though. Just making healthy choices as much as I can. What I'm doing is far from perfect but at least I'm getting good stuff in and limiting bad stuff. And I keep trying.