Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Well , I think I need a life change , I really hate my job am sitting in a chair taking calls all day long and its sucked the fun right out of me , and crazy thing is when I get off work lately*I feel like I need a nap, Really just smack me , how can I be sleepy after sitting at a desk job all day ? Yea I been asking myself that to I use to work as a full time nanny had plenty of energy and ran after kids ,played outside and was very active and i was 40lbs lighter as well , now hear I am stuck on a job I hate and yes getting fat even though I eat less , problem is you dont burn a hole lot of calories setting in a chair ,but I have to work and pay bills so hear I am feeling very stuck , I would love to go back to being a nanny but my car has been down for almost 9mos no car no job and the money I make now is just not cutting it , its become a check by check lifestyle not working for me at all . So I had to take a good look at myself and ask what is really going on in this head of mine answer full blown depression , next step what do you do about it ? Lets see first of all I moved to Florida 9 years ago to live near the beach do I stay near the beach aaaaaa NO so its time to move yesssss beachside or back home to Toledo , Ohio where I have family and friends because hear its me and my boys and the sun dont even know if its worth it anymore but I love the sun , and speaking of my boys I really think its time for me to cut the strings , I have a 6 bedroom 4 bath home and big bills to go with it , I dont wont the big house I only have 2 son's who are under the age of 18 and I really would love to get a small town house beach side , but my mother side kicks in my older sons work but they only gave part time jobs and they dont make the money it takes to stay on their own , but ever part of me wants to walk away and say to them guess what MOM'S OUT , and this crazy stress is working overtime on me and I cant do this anymore I feel like my over all health is going down hill and if I keep this up am not going to be mom at all because am going to be the dead mom , however I have no idea how to get out of this mess am in really looking for some help I guess am I wrong ? Or do I just go for it , should I just DO IT I dont know . I know I need to change somethings fast because it ant helping the hips .