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    DONNA19711   12,203
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A Little Humor


Tuesday, April 16, 2013

With much sadness today due to the tragedy events at the Boston Marathon. We all need a little humor to lighten the rest of the night.
Found these while reading the Readers Digest. Enjoy.

1. No More Meat!

The teacher in our Bible class asked a woman to read from the Book of Numbers about the Israelites wandering in the desert. "The Lord heard you when you wailed, 'If only we had meat to eat!' " she began. "Now the Lord will give you meat. You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, or ten or twenty days, but for a month -- until you loathe it." When the woman finished, she paused, looked up and said, "Hey, isn't that the Atkins diet?"

2. Bland Diet Food

My sisters and I have weight problems and are always sharing diet tips. One day my oldest sister was showing us a low-fat cookbook and pointed out a chicken dish she had tried the night before. Reading the ingredients, I commented, "It looks like it would taste really bland."

"It did," she replied, "until I added cheese and sour cream."

3. In Good Company

My daughter couldn't muster the willpower to lose unwanted pounds. One day, watching a svelte friend walking up our driveway, she lamented, "Linda's so skinny it makes me sick."

"If it bothers you," I suggested gently, "why don't you do something about it?"

"Good idea, Mom," she replied. Turning to her friend, she called out, "Hey, Linda, have a piece of chocolate cake."

4. The Old-School Approach

The biggest loser at my weight-loss club was an elderly woman. "How'd you do it?" we asked. "Easy," she said. "Every night I take my teeth out at six o'clock

5.A Sad Place

Following his motivational talk at a Weight Watchers meeting, my father noticed one client's small son climbing onto a scale. "Don't go on that, Joey," warned the boy's slightly older brother. "It makes people cry.

I hope you all enjoy these.

Quote for the day:
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAMSEDGE 4/21/2013 4:43PM

    Thank you for the levity!

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BLUE_48 4/16/2013 2:54PM

    Love the jokes. It added a smile to my day. Thank you!!

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TATTER3 4/16/2013 12:51PM

    Funny!!!

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PATTYKLAVER 4/16/2013 7:32AM

    Great jokes.

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MARYJOANNA 4/16/2013 5:42AM

  Cute, clean jokes!

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EHLIFESSHORT 4/16/2013 2:52AM

    Peaceful greetings to you
Thanks for sharing,
P.S. Donít let the fool above change who you are.
Blowing out someone elseís candle doesnít make his shine any brighter.
Peace out

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WEARINGTHIN 4/16/2013 2:38AM

    Bad jokes as usual from Reader's Digest. Glenn

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MOTLORAC 4/16/2013 1:56AM

    Thanks for trying to lighten up a sorrowful day.
Thanks,
Tom
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SP Diversity Team

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