Well, I survived it!!!!! I did my first 5k walk yesterday in Springfield, OR. And apparently I did alot better than I thought I would. My goal was just complete it. I had my best time too. I normal walk 25-30 minute miles. (My best time was 20 minute miles and that was when I was 185 lbs) I had convinced myself that I didn't care about my time, the goal was to complete it. That was it. According to the final results at the Biggest Loser 5k page, I finished in 57:05. I was walking 18 min. miles (give or take a little) I was SHOCKED!!! The whole experience was one super big high! I was worried about being the only overweight person there. I was in awe of all the people there. There were big people, little people, young, old, challenged, men, women, girls, boys, I even saw a baby in a stroller. I got to meet Dan and Jackie Evans, TC Pool and Jesse Wornum from the Biggest Loser. (Got my picture taken with TC) But the thing that really made yesterday awesome was the fact that my daughter, grandson, niece, brother in law and sister were there doing it with me. Ashlee (daughter) walked with me, stayed my pace (everyone else was faster) and kept me going. The last 50 feet or so, we ran. My legs were killing me, but I was determined I was going to run across the finish line. I wasn't expecting to hear my name called out as I crossed the finish line, but it was cool. THe thing that really stands out for me was the look on my daughter's face after we crossed. She hugged me and said you did it! I don't think I have ever in my life seen her look more proud of me than she did at that moment. I know my family did this for me, but everyone had a great time. It was hard to handle all the praise and support I was getting. I'm not used to being in the limelight. I, of course cried as I crossed the finish line. the past 2 weeks have been such a huge roller coaster ride for me. I figured I would weigh myself every 2 weeks instead of every week, but in the 2 weeks, I gained 8 pounds. I don't think it was from overeating. I think it is from the fact that I didn't work out at all last week. In a week's time, I found out that my dad, who had been in the hospital and then nursing home since December (I knew this already) had been moved back to a hospital and had to have surgery on both of his feet, and had to stay there until he got his strength back. well, within 24 hours of finding this out, his doctor said he was refusing the feeding tube, and wanted to be put on hospice. (A little history on my dad- he is type 2 diabetic, has had open heart surgery, and 2 kidney transplants over the years. ) Now his kidneys are shutting down and and he is in alot of pain. They came to the decision, that he is dying and if he were younger (he is 72), they would keep him on dialysis, but given his age, the extend of the problems, it would only prolong his life by maybe a month or 2. So, moving him to hospice and making him as comfortable as possible would be the best thing. It's killing me because, well, obviously, this is my dad. He has always been 10 feet tall and indestructible. Now, at 6'2" he weighs maybe 120 lbs. He lives in Texas and I have no way to get out there to be with him. I have been an emotional wreck and my tears have been coming when ever. This was what made yesterday hard from me. I had waves of guilt. Here I was having fun while my dad is lying in a hospital bed dying. I know he would want me to to do this, to have fun. And I swear I could even hear his voice in my head cheering me on. The near future is going to be a tough one for me. I jump every time my phone rings, thinking it will be my step sister calling to tell me my dad passed. It is going to be hard for me to focus on anything but dad, but I will do my best, because it's important to me and my dad would want me to.